Archives for category: working out

It finally happened! Last week we closed on our home and moved in the following day. We have been here since Friday. It is lovely. I am so happy it is ridiculous. This has been a lengthy process and both my husband and I feel this tremendous weight that has been lifted. It is truly our dream home. So much so that I find myself not actually wanting to walk out of the door. I could just stay in it all day every day.

Jack has adjusted phenomenally. The first night he woke up once and then fell back asleep without us having to go in there. Since then, nights have been fine. He already calls it home when we pull in the driveway. He has made himself rather comfortable with everything around the house. We have it easy with him. Transitions for him have always been a piece of cake. He just seems to do really well going from one step to the other.

I have my very own Pilates room. I have big plans for it over time. Adding a Reformer, a large mirror, and maybe a barre. But for now it is my own little place of solitude and I am content with that.

Workout organization

Workout organization

Pilates Room

Pilates Room

I still have unpacking to do, but we have knocked out a major portion of it. This room below is so peaceful and truly one of my favorite in the house. My mom helped me finish unpacking it this weekend. I also took a trip to Crate and Barrel for extra accent pieces. Even Jack (and our cat as you can see) loves being in this room.

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I have tons of photos of the home already. I won’t bog this post down with them though. That is what my personal facebook has been for. I am just so excited and in love I can barely contain myself from posting things constantly. I didn’t write about the whole experience but it was quite an ordeal. When your attorney tells you this is the most complicated home sale he has ever done, you know that things are crazy! Our attorney isn’t 27 or anything either. He could be our parent. So, being closed, done, and homeowners of our total dream home feels amazing. It makes us both so happy. It has reduced so much stress in our daily lives. I don’t even think I realized HOW much this had been stressing us both out. Now we can enjoy our home, our little family, and our lives together for many many MANY years here.

 

I have a ton to write about. I have a ton of updates in my life. Our internet has been screwy. One reason I cannot wait to move. There is not much you can do about that when you are renting. When you own, well my husband can hunt and hunt until he finds the problem. He thinks the issue is at the source of the connection. I have my iPad and iPhone, but I don’t like trying to write out a post on those. I do not type quite as quickly as I do on a good old fashioned keyboard.

So what has been going on?

My obsession with the Wunda Chair grows each day. This morning, I cannot recall the last time I took a day off of working out. I think that means I should skip today. We shall see.

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Jack started preschool last week! TWO days a week. It was a crazy feeling. I was so excited for him to learn. I was a bit excited to have some time to get things done. I was sad that he is growing. I felt so guilty. My guilt increased when he cried both mornings and begged me not to leave him. BUT both days, after I left, he calmed down and had a great time. Both days when I picked him up he said “GREAT DAY!” On the first day, I bawled when I got into the parking lot and on the phone with my husband. I felt so awful seeing him so upset. I have been feeling VERY guilty for sending him in the first place. I feel like a crap mom.

I have been a stay at home mom for going on 2 1/2 years. I dedicate myself entirely to this boy. Now that I am ready to embark on my career (I even have SIX classes on the summer schedule), I needed to find some time during the day to work. As parents, we decided together Jack was ready for socialization with his peers, so we picked an early preschool program instead of an in home nanny. Yet, I still feel like I am doing him a disservice because for a couple hours a week I let him go learn and play with others. I know it makes no sense, but it is how I feel. It does help to hear about his day through him when I pick him up. He even made me a Mother’s Day gift at school! It was the best gift ever! This school gives us daily updates, emails, photos, and progress reports. Even what times his diaper was changed, how he ate, how his mood was. It keeps me involved without actually being there. Jack is super attached to me. Yesterday was Mother’s Day, and I still had to change every single diaper because he flips out if I am around and my husband tries to do it. He is a momma’s boy. So this has been a transition for the both of us. I think it will prove to be great, I already see sparkles of that after 2 days. It is just a matter of me getting my irrational guilt in check.

Check out some photos from his first 2 days!

Jacky's very 1st day!

Jacky’s very 1st day!

 

Cooking some food on his 1st day

Cooking some food on his 1st day

 

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After his 1st day was over. Too cool for school ;-)

 

Making some art on his 2nd day

Making some art on his 2nd day

 

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My Mother’s Day gift!

We close on our new home on Thursday. Yes, as in 3 days from this post! That has been a big contributor to the insanity in our lives. We are swamped. Plus our landlord has listed our current place for rent, so we have had showings. While packing I also have to keep the house pristine and in showing conditions! Last week we stopped by the house for some quotes on some repairs on the pool.

We took some time to take a couple photos of the new place. We are so excited for this adventure to come to a close (pun intended) this week.

In our backyard

In our backyard

 

Making himself at home by our pool

Making himself at home by our pool

The only reason I have time to write all of this today is because I am taking a day off of working out. I do have to take Jack to swim lessons this morning. Tonight I am teaching 2 Reformer classes. I have to prep a bit for those, even though I am pretty sure I know what I am doing anyway. I should clean up the living room too because it is a disaster after a Mother’s Day lego session yesterday. This was my 3rd Mother’s Day. It feels crazy to say that! I can’t believe I have 3 under my belt already!

Mother's Day 2013

Mother’s Day 2013

This might be the last post for a while. We plan to move everything Friday if we can. Which means we will probably have our first somewhat settled night in the house on Saturday. AH! Craziness. June is going to be nuts for us. We always have a lot to do. Our wedding anniversary, my husband always has a conference in the beginning of June so he is gone for a few days, plus there are always tons of family parties and/or weddings. My summer session begins June 9th. I will try to update though, especially about the new pad.

I hope everyone is doing well. I hope Mother’s Day was great!

 

I passed the halfway point of my Reformer student teaching hours. I have been in the studio every Saturday morning teaching at least one class. I am really excited to have reached this point. I have 9 hours left! That really is not that much. I could do it very quickly if I wanted to get it all done in one week. It is no secret that my full time job is still a stay at home mom. Until we have him in his preschool program, Saturdays are my time to teach. I have to make a decision by today regarding preschool. I will know by the end of the day about how much longer this will take.

As each class ends I feel more confident in my teaching, authority of the subject matter, and myself. I have had a few bumps. Clients who are not happy that the newbie has been teaching. It is what it is. It hurts me, because I am about as hard as a cloud. I keep on keeping on though. I mostly vent to my mom, husband, and bff about it. They listen unconditionally and encourage me to brush it off. They know I am a sensitive soul.

All I do is make sure that I am giving my best when I am in front of those clients. If I leave and I know I did that, then their responses really can’t bother me too much. If I just was standing around doing nothing, not trying, and not giving my all, then well that really would be on me.

I have received a lot of positive feedback though too. I have started to learn about the different clients we have in the building. Their needs, wants, physical abilities, personalities, and restrictions. This past Saturday was my 3rd time teaching a specific class. I was asked to come up with a whole new class since this was week 3. Weeks 1 and 2 were different but I decided to really change my focus. I came up with some challenging moves. I walked in the building and the Reformers were filled with new students! You can switch around if you have to, and this class happened to have that happen. There were a few of the regulars that I have had, but there were about 3  new ladies. I spoke to another instructor and quickly adapted my plans. I used some of the things I had planned. I winged others. I did it. I think it went well. The lady who loves hard work and extra spring load had to get up to take off her hoodie at one point. I took that as a good sign. If she was hot and sweaty, then I was doing my job.

I am excited to continue. I am excited because I have been offered a lot of opportunities. As soon as I know my schedule my boss/master teacher will be giving me regular classes and privates! I will have my own clients to work with weekly. I won’t be subbing jumping into an already established class that is used to someone else. I am looking forward to that. It is making this preschool guilt a little easier. Just a smidgen though.

I flew over a huge hurdle yesterday! I had been asked to sub for another Pilates instructor. Three Reformer classes needed to be covered. 8:30, 9:30, and 10:30 in the morning. A Saturday morning. Saturdays are busy at my studio. I said yes. I decided to just go ahead and do it. I knew my master teacher would be in the building. I just wouldn’t have another instructor sitting by free to help or answer my questions. I have always had that crutch to lean on. Also, I have never taught three classes in a row. I considered all of this after I had been asked. My parents happened to be over. I discussed it with them and my husband. The consensus was that I needed to do this. I was capable of doing this. I am meant to do this. “Rip the band aid off” is my husband’s favorite phrase. He told me to do just that.

I am SO glad I did. It went really well. There were no major issues or hiccups. I got a lot of positive feedback. From my master teacher/boss and from the clients. I love the Mermaid. I love it on the Mat, Reformer, and Chair. There is rarely a day that goes by where I don’t do some version of the Mermaid. I included it in my classes yesterday. I had a few clients rave about it. Saying they had never done it before. They LOVED it. I explained my passion for the position. They replied that they think it needs to be in every class they take. Well, I think it is safe to say I have found my signature move at this studio. “If you take a class with Nicole, you will more than likely do the Mermaid in some way!”

frontsplits

Me!

I feel so empowered. I know that practicing Pilates can empower you. I have been empowered by it. I am empowered by it. Teaching Pilates can also empower you. Being able to help people. Seeing them find the work. Listening to them tell you how great that move felt on their body. Lately, every time I leave the studio after teaching a class I am riding on this high. I feel so great, happy, energetic. I am not even working out. I am just working. I am doing what I was born to do. I left after my last class and drove home. I thought along the way, this is clearly what I was born to do. This is my career. I have never been so sure of that in my life. Besides being a mom. I always knew I wanted to get married and have a family. Other than that I  have never quite made up my mind. Nothing made me feel this way. Nothing until I started teaching Pilates. I am about halfway through my Reformer teaching hours for certification. Chair will likely be conquered in the fall when my boss adds more chairs and then adds some chair classes. I love Chair. I own one and I practice on it pretty much daily. I know a lot of people loathe it but I feel that is because it is intimidating. It doesn’t have to be. It can be so tailored to a client that gradual increase in strength can be achieved  I also have a potential offer from my boss to teach at Lulu on Saturday mornings. If it does happen it is supposed to start in early May. It is not 100% yet but I am excited that she even thought of me to do that. I will bring the same passion I just wrote about along with me to the store. I will turn people on to the love of Pilates. I will hopefully be able to convince new people to walk into the studio that is my home.

It feels good to find your place in the world. I have found mine. I am Nicole. I am a mom, a wife, and a Pilates instructor.

What/who are you?

I did a really great thing for myself yesterday. I got back into the swing of things with Pilates. Not practicing Pilates on my own. I haven’t missed a beat with that. No, I am talking about student teaching to get all of my hours for my certification. I had been on a break of sorts. I was just dealing with so much in my personal life that something had to give. With the home buying nonsense, my grandpa passing away, having a toddler, my IBS flaring up from all the stress, and injuring my neck, I was constantly spent.

The last thing I wanted to do was stand up in front of a room of people, not feeling confident at all, and try to safely guide them through physically demanding moves. No. I was not up for that. I spent all day giving my best to my son. I couldn’t put him on the back burner. No matter how depressed I was over my grandpa, I couldn’t mope around all day not caring for my child. So, by the time my husband got home at night I was just exhausted. There was nothing left to give.

I started to feel better last week, slowly but surely. Then, the weather started to warm up. We went to the park about 3 times in a week’s time! Ah, glorious sunshine and fresh air will do anyone some good. I went back in yesterday to student teach a private session with my amazing teacher. It felt ah-maze-ing to get in there and do this. I felt so great afterward. I am ready to get back into this. I am ready to finish what I started. I am ready for life to continue on.

I needed my mourning period. I am by no means over it. I never will be. Grandpa randomly crosses my mind regularly. I will be doing the most simple thing and suddenly some memory will flood back. I also got very attached to being around Jack. I have barely let him out of my sight since this time last month, actually. Other than one sleepover at my mom’s home. I think she needed that as much as I needed to take a break from student teaching. Clinging to this life that I created just felt right and safe. Looking at his cute little toddler feet, watching the way he plays with his toys, listening to his HUGE vocabulary, and just taking in his face, were the places I wanted and needed to be. The thought of being away from him several nights a week was just not something I wanted to actually go through with. Even if some days I felt like he was driving me crazy. I just didn’t want to miss a thing.

Death is a funny thing. Dealing with it and trying to put your own life back together can be tricky. I have been to a good share of wakes and funerals. This was by no means my first. But they were always more distant relatives. Not what I consider an immediate relative. It was different this time. It has been hard. Bottom line. How long should one mourn? There is no definitive answer to that. I cringe at the thought that if I ever have another child my grandpa will not have met that baby or even know about his/her existence. I hate that. A baby is not a big priority on my list, but I have thought about that scenario. Does that mean if I actually decide to have a 2nd that I shouldn’t? No. Because life does go on. The living have to keep living. Keep loving the loved ones we have with us while remembering the ones we have lost. I just squeeze my little man a little tighter and rub his hair a little more and kiss his toes just one more time.

It was time to get back to my life that I worked really hard to achieve. I put so much time and effort into training to teach and to be derailed much longer would just be a waste. My grandpa would not have wanted me to waste my talents. That much I know.

Two days ago my new baby arrived! I am head over heels in love. I was from the moment it arrived. My new Balanced Body Combo Chair!!!!! I have used it twice since then and I will use it again this morning. I have been trained to teach it, so I know how to use it. I knew how to set it up. I knew how amazing it would be. But I didn’t realize how amazing it would be to know that this Pilates machine is mine all mine.

We have a very large master bed room. It could really be two rooms. They should have made it a 3rd bedroom in this townhouse. But we don’t own this place and with all luck we will be moving into MUCH more space in a little over a month. The appraisal is today, keep your fingers crossed. Anyway, the 2nd half of our bedroom is used for our exercise equipment. I arranged my Pilates area rather nicely. I am looking forward though to having an entire room for my Pilates stuff.

pilatesarea

I do have to move the chair away from the window a bit when using it. So I have full range of motion, but it works. It is my space. I love it. It felt amazing to get back on the chair. I missed it. Things have  been so bananas since my grandpa went into ICU and then passed away. I haven’t been into the studio in a while. I guess I have been a little depressed and overwhelmed with everything I have to handle right now. Three days ago I started to feel a bit better overall. I am hoping this keeps up. I think I am coming to terms with his passing. I am still sad but Saturday I had a little release. I cried a bit . Also, exercise helps. And what is better than a brand new toy to workout with? Nothing I tell you, nothing!

 

 

Yesterday marked a big milestone in my Pilates teacher journey. I officially finished the training courses! We are all done with classroom time. I have to complete my million hours of practice teaching now. Yikes! I cannot believe we have reached this point. It feels like September was only yesterday. pilates

I have a myriad of emotions about this all. They range from excited, to terrified, to frustrated. I am not sure I can explain entirely why I am all over the place. This is an off week for me in general. That has to be a contributing factor. I am excited for obvious reasons. I did it! I finished a huge part of this. The next is to apply my knowledge. Terrified because I have to apply that knowledge. And frustration is likely over the same thing. Working out how to articulate what I know. Getting to know the clients and their needs. Many of these clients have been there for years. When I enter a class to teach I feel blind, since I don’t know them like their regular instructors do.

I am excited to get my own clients. I would like to start to build a relationship with people and train them. I want to share the love of Pilates with everyone. I want to help make someone’s life better. I want to help them move and feel better every single day. I am frustrated because sometimes I feel like I am not seeing what my Master Teacher sees. I know that is why SHE is a master teacher and I am still a novice. But I have said this before and I will say this again, I am incredibly hard on myself. I get so mad at myself when I can’t see or do what I am trying to see or do. I know that it will come with time and experience. But my inner voice sometimes won’t listen to that rationalization. There are many times where I DO see what she is speaking of.  You see, the thing is, Pilates is in millimeters. The correctness of the moves are often incredibly tiny movements. Your eye really has to develop to see that. There are many times I do see it. But I hate it when I look and I am just baffled. I have to tell myself to ease up and just keep looking and practicing. I know how these feel in my own body. I know what I am looking for in general. I am always self correcting my positions. I know where a client is supposed to be most of the time. Especially in the moves I am very familiar with.

A portion of my journey is over. I am entering the next phase of my journey. This journey will never really end. I believe I will always be learning and improving myself as a Pilates teacher. Who knows what the future holds down the road. The possibilities are unlimited!

When you’re a student studying to become an instructor, moments of total “ah ha!” and clarity are truly blissful moments. When your teacher’s voice is speaking in your head, and you just get it. You get the lesson and message she or he was trying to convey. I had one of those moments on Wednesday.

I saw a Mat class I wanted to do. There was this awesome looking move. A variation of Balance Control. It just looked so cool and fancy. The cuing wasn’t amazing and I was halfway through it. I could feel the compromised position it was putting my neck in. I didn’t have the courage to keep pushing through it without a spot. I just kept thinking I am going to break my neck. I am not one to be fearful of a challenge, but this just wasn’t right. Something wasn’t right with it. Maybe it was the cuing or maybe it was the actual move being really not a great one. At first I was mad at myself, I felt weak. As the day went on I heard my teacher’s voice in my head.

She likes to explain to us that some of those fancy non classical moves are just that, fancy and pretty. They can be dangerous. They are not always very beneficial. She can always find another move that is safer that gives you the same, if not better work. The only thing those fancy moves tend to be good for is your fancy Facebook photo. She has drilled that into us with certain moves. The one I was attempting wasn’t one of those specifically. We never even learned that one, showing you that it isn’t even in our book! I got it though. I got what she has been trying to teach us. I wanted to badly to try this “cool” looking move. I wanted to move effortlessly like that. As I got there, I realized how fragile the neck is. It isn’t something I want to injure. This move was just too compromising. At one point all of my weight was on my neck! The integrity of the neck is so important, why would I even try to put it in a place it shouldn’t be?

I told her about this last night. I think she was happy that her lessons had really sunk in with me. That I had experienced first hand what she has been trying to tell us. We are not in this to injure people. We are doing this for health and fitness. To keep our clients safe and fit. Safety first. We won’t have people to help if we injure them all. That doesn’t mean you don’t challenge them. No, it means you challenge them safely! You protect their most vulnerable areas, like their neck.

When you reach this peak of your learning it feels really great. I feel like a Pilates instructor. I feel confident that I am getting the point of all of this. It is more than just a fancy move on a website. It is a way of life. It is allowing people to put the integrity of their bodies in my hands. They trust me to keep them safe. It is my job to maintain that trust as best I can.

Have you had any recent Ah Ha moments? Not in Pilates, necessarily, but in any area of life?

 

Have you ever loved something so much that you want to shout it from the rooftops?I am not talking about another person or persons. That is easy, I feel that way about my husband and son. I am talking about something outside of a human connection. A passion for anything else in your life?

I feel that way about Mat work. If you have read my blog before, you may have gathered as much. I am a hardcore Pilates Mat lover. I truly believe in the work. It is beautiful, tough, graceful, and classic. It is just a gorgeous way to build your strength, tone your body, center yourself and your life, and stay fit. I want to shout this from the rooftops. I don’t like heights, so I settle for my blog and Facebook platforms. I also can add teaching to that platform.

You can imagine how excited I am that I have a class starting on the 23rd. I asked if anyone has signed up yet. I was told no. That it is going to be a hard sell in the building I am in. I was instantly deflated. I can’t understand how it is a hard sell? People like their machines there, though. I get that, the machines are challenging. But the Mat is no less challenging. In fact, in many moves, it can be tougher than the Reformer. You have no assistance from the springs. You have to rely on your own core strength, balance, and body strength. I am not here to argue which is better. They are both amazing. It is no secret that my passion and devotion does lie with the mat. Don’t let me wittiness distract you though! ;-) I wish people would give it a shot. Let me show them that mat work can blow your mind too. Let me exude that love and passion in my classroom to you. I promise your abs will scream after my abs series. Your bum will burn after my side lying legs series. And when we finish with arms you will be saying, “no I cant do one more set.” I will say, “yes yes you can! Little black dress arms, here we come!!!”

Deflated. That is what I am feeling this morning. I bit the bullet and said I also want to start teaching some Reformer classes to get my hours in as well. I want to get teaching and if I have to start with Reformer here, that is what I will do. I am not chained to one studio. I can find other places that embrace Mat. I feel like I am itching to spring out of the gate and get going though. I know 100% I am ready to teach Mat regularly. I can do Reformer too. I know more than I like to let myself think. I have an hour long Cadillac class to develop for tomorrow as well.

I just need the chance to be able to sing my passion. I know I can bring others in, if I am given it!

What passion would shout from the rooftops if you could? Have you ever been where I am as a teacher. Or with anything else in your life? Read to go, but finding roadblocks all along the way? Have you successfully been able to transfer your passion for something to others?

I came across one of the funniest Pilates quotes I have ever read. It has been cracking me up all day. It is from a Men’s Health interview with George Lopez.

“I started doing Pilates a while back. I thought my childhood was rough? Pilates is harder. When I do Pilates, I think about those sad summers I was making Kool-Aid and trying to sell it on a cul de sac that no one traveled, and Pilates is much harder than that.”

Pilates is hard. No doubt about it. I really appreciate the humor in this though. I like nothing more than a good laugh. I will always pick to watch a comedy over a drama. But like I said, the reality is, it is hard. It is not easy. It is not a one time workout. It is a practice. Something you must craft and master over time. Weeks, months, years. I started doing Pilates in high school. My mom took me to a class. I wouldn’t be where I am right now without her influencing me. I instantly loved it. photo (2)

I am a million times better now than I ever was in my teens or early 20′s even. Especially once I decided to really focus solely on Pilates. I used to rotate between different types of fitness. I am glad I have found a focus. There is such a centering feeling in practicing and perfecting your craft. Pilates is my craft. I continually challenge myself. I know where my weaknesses are and I set goals for myself to correct and eventually perfect them. I have really opened my hip flexors since I stopped running. That was a very tight and short area for me. I can feel a difference. My current struggle has to do with the tightness in my shoulders. I also want to be able to do a perfect teaser every single time. I can do awesome teasers, but every so often I wobble, or get stuck etc. Those are my goals.

Pilates is hard. But that doesn’t mean it should scare you away. It is so empowering to practice a hard craft. When you reach your goals, big or small, you are filled with this sense of accomplishment and self worth. No one but you created that ability. Sure, your teacher/trainer guided you, spotted you, and instructed you. I cannot engage your core for you. I cannot do the work for you. Ultimately, YOU had to do the work to get there.

My motto with teaching is “We are all on our own journey.” When I am explaining things to my private clients I always tell them that. I will carry that on in my Mat class as well. That is the most important part. To stay true to yourself and your body. It doesn’t matter what your neighbor is doing. It doesn’t matter what I can do as your instructor. That is my journey and yours is different. No two journeys are exactly the same. So, while Pilates is hard, life has never claimed to be easy. Sometimes, the hardest things we go through have the greatest results. Pilates is one of those things. And as George Lopez knows, it is ok to laugh about that fact!

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