The past couple of runs have been a bit rough. My allergies tend to be bad in the fall. I believe it is the ragweed. The last 3 runs have been bad. Between my allergies and pushing the stroller and baby, I get winded quickly. I am limited on what allergy meds I can take because of nursing. I was telling my hubby on our Saturday run/walk that I am looking forward to next fall when I can take my good meds and breathe easy. Sometimes I feel like I am a football player with having to push about 45lbs while running. I even repeat to myself “dig dig dig” when we are heading up a hill. How lame! HA! It is certainly not easy to jog with your baby. It is fun and incredibly rewarding. However, it is tough, hard work, and can leave you exhausted and sore. It is kind of like mommahood in general!

I have come to a final decision regarding nursing. I am feeling good about it. I am going to nurse him until he is a year. Then I will stop. I am not sure how I will go about weaning. I do not want to ever give him formula. That is my goal. He tends to be rather flexible with eating. He enjoys eating. We feel that he won’t reject regular milk when we begin giving it to him after a year. I may stop cold turkey and try the cabbage in the bra trick. I had considered nursing longer than a year. I was recently thinking that overall I will be ready. A year is phenomenal! 6 months is phenomenal! I am nearly at 8 months and I fully believe I will make it to a year. I think my milk supply was dropping a bit but I have been taking some Fenugreek, and it has been helping. So with dedication I think I will make it to a year.

It was a hard decision to come by. I know I have time. With the holidays though things will fly. He will be a year on February 4th. Halloween is around the corner, then Thanksgiving hits you, and after Thanksgiving you blink and Christmas is here! My hubby’s birthday is in the beginning of January and I will be planning Jacks first birthday extravaganza (I am serious about that, I have already begun planning it. I think I am more obsessed with this than our wedding) So I came to the decision now. I will be ready for us as a family to move on. My husband and I need to spend some more time together. Since Jack has been born we have gone on 4 dates alone. Two being this week. I love doing things as a family. LOVE IT. If push comes to shove I prefer us all going out and doing things together. But sometimes it is nice for us to get out just the two of us. Not often and not for anything crazy, but for example we went to eat and bowling. Last night we went to a real sit down restaurant. Which we have not done since he was about two or three months old.

I am not saying I want to get away from him. I had a miserable time for the first part of our date because Jackson had a fit when I was leaving. My dad finally said, “Go, you coming back in here over and over is making it worse. He will be fine, just go!” I obliged, heavyhearted, and we headed to the bowling alley.  My mom finally texted me and said he was happy and even sent me a smiling photo of him. Separation anxiety is hard on me too! I felt awful for leaving him so upset. I did say good bye, I didn’t sneak off, which was hard, but I did it.We are rarely apart, once in a while, I am told, it is good for both of us! HA! So at a year I will be ready as I can be for us as a family to move on to the next step. I will still be emotional about it all. Between nursing ending and him turning a year, I will be a wreck. I started crying yesterday talking about it! I asked my hubby to be patient and understanding in February. It will be a bittersweet month. I love that child more than I can even express. My whole world revolves around him. Every move I make depends on his needs.

I talked about this all with Jason and my parents yesterday. They all agreed that it is ok for me to be ready to move on when he is a year. That it is good for me to have more flexibility. That someone can watch him overnight without us worrying about his feeding schedule. He has never spent the night anywhere but with me and Jason. As a collective family we feel confident that this is the best decision for us.It was nice to have their unconditional support.

I am not sure if some people would consider this decision selfish. Those I know do not. I am sure there are some die hard BF advocates that may. But I try to not judge the decisions other moms make, unless they are downright abusive, so I hope I receive the same respect. It was a tough decision to come to. I have been thinking about this for a few months. I feel I will be ready to move on then. I am feeling good about it. I stared out on this journey just wanting to give it a shot. Then I wanted to go at least 3 months, then I wanted to go at least 6 months. Then once I got close to 6 months I thought I can do this for a year!

It feels good to have finally reached a final goal and decision. I was on the fence for a while but something in my heart this week just told me that this is the best choice for us all. That I will be ready to go on to the next adventure in our lives together. I am feeling good about this all!