Jack turned 18 months on Saturday. We spent the day at a baptism and then the funeral home helping with arrangements for my aunt. My original intention for that evening had been to celebrate his 1/2 birthday. Just the 3 of us. I have decided to start a tradition where we do that on his 1/2 birthday. He will get a 1/2 cake and we will just have a little family celebration.

Well we didn’t get home until after 5pm on Saturday. Jack had only napped in the car for a handful of minutes. It was a long emotional day. We were all exhausted. There was no way I was going to run to the store and buy cake stuff. But Sunday we went to the grocery store. I didn’t buy ingredients for a cake. Instead I picked up a small cake to just cut in half. I then decorated it myself.

I have never claimed to be the best cake decorator but for my boys it works!

Jason found the Lightning McQueen candle. Jack loved that. It was a team effort. I think it was a little celebration my aunt would have been very proud of. I think it is good to celebrate life. Even every 1/2 a year. We aren’t throwing him a huge party for his 1/2 birthday. Just Jason and myself and if grandparents happen to be over that is fine too. This year Jason’s parents happened to be coming over yesterday for my father in law’s birthday. Both my dad’s and Jason’s dad’s birthdays are around Jack’s 1/2 birthday. So it may or may not work out that way some years.

I also got him a small hotwheels car pack. I think it had 8 or so cars in it. I gave that to him Saturday. We brought it with us while we were out and gave it to him one of the times in the car. He was elated when he saw the box. Nothing crazy. Just a small gift. I am so excited to start this new tradition. I hope Jack grows up loving it.

I think he did this year….

CAKE!!! For ME!!!!

Cut out the middle man, his hands and spoon

Best 1/2 birthday ever!

I love this child so much. I want him to know he is celebrated every day. Which I think he is aware of. I cheer him on constantly. But I think setting aside some time to really focus on how special he is to both me and his dad is nice. We are lucky to have him. To have a child to raise and do our best to make a great member of society. Not everyone gets to do this. Some people take this responsibility and blessing for granted. I do not. I have learned in the past month how life can change in an instant. One choice can make a lifetime of difference. I am going to embrace the joys as much as I can.

That face up there is the most joyous thing! His innocent happiness over cake. You have to love that. As adults we lose so much of that innocence and that joy in simple things. We truly do. I try to step back daily and soak up some moment of Jack’s. Something he is doing. Even just watching him play and do his own thing. I just watch, quietly, let him do his thing, and take it all in. Imprint it into my memory. Sometimes that is my favorite part of the day. Observing him in his own element.

Tomorrow starts a couple days of sadness. I am sad to say goodbye to my aunt. Very sad. I hate the fact that Jack will not remember her. That he will only remember the stories I have told him and photos I have shown him. That makes my heart so sad because she was so amazing and strong. I am going to try to remember to live life as she did. Despite the difficult times she faced she was a lovely woman who brightened up a room. I know she loved Jack and me and I know she loved watching me with Jack. I am going to be the best mom I can be every day. Do special things like 1/2 birthday celebrations. AND glowstick baths

But still teaching him how to be productive. He started helping me mop all on his own. He loves to take part in daily chores around here. I fully encourage and support him wanting to help. Even if sometimes he throws out boxes of pasta that I have to take out of the garbage later. He wants to help and I am going to cheer him on every time!

So I will take these moments, hug my child, and love life as much as I can. I think that my aunt would like that. Tomorrow I will be filled with tears. But as Jason told Jack on the way to the funeral home on Saturday, his job is “to make people smile. That is what you are here for Jack.” I think that is fitting. He is bright spot on a dark day.

Happy 18 months my





best dancing



little swimmer

chatter box






SON!!! Thank you for letting me be your momma for this past year and a half. I know the next 6 months are going to fly by, because these last sure did. I am looking forward to all he is going to be learning and teaching me.