Mom gene? A recent study on mice showed that there could be a genetic link to maternal instincts. I found this article very interesting. The headline grabbed my attention immediately. The main reason is because I have always wanted to be a mom. If playing house was an Olympic sport, as a child I would have been the Michael Phelps of house playing. It was one of my favorite things to do with the kids down the street that my brother and I played with. The 4 of us, yes the boys too, often played house. The boy was my age and the girl was my younger brother’s age. It was kind of a perfect match. I played with my dolls. I played with my Barbies and made families. I made families with my Legos. I built huge homes and then played with the little lego people as a family. Growing up, getting married, having 3 kids (that part has changed when I realized what goes into growing/birthing a baby), and raising those kids and being a mom has always been on my mind.

Disney on Ice! I loved every second of taking him to this show!

So naturally when I saw this headline I thought, “oh that makes sense! I have that.”  Initially when I saw the link they left out the mice part of the story. Way to trick me!  Then I read that it was found in mice. Oh ok, so it wasn’t found in humans. But it is interesting none the less.

They address the issues of if being a good parent is behavioral or biological. I think it could be a mix of both. I see a lot of the way I do things similar to how my mom is. I also see differences. That is fine. It is good to grow and do things in your own way too. But the fact remains, I always wanted to be a mom. I longed for it when we struggled to get pregnant. I miss Jack when he is sleeping at night. Ok not every night, but on those particularly amazing mostly tantrum free days together I miss his squishy cheeks.

My little squishy cheeks at the park

I also don’t think that it will marginalize women more if it is true. If you don’t want to be a mom, then don’t. I see nothing wrong with that. Just as I hope people see nothing wrong with me being totally over the moon about being a mom to my son. If you want to focus on your career and that is your passion, your love, your baby, then by all means, enjoy and live your life the best way you see fit. Don’t feel pressured to have a baby! Please. A child is a serious deal. You are bringing life into the world, that isn’t something a person should be guilted by society into doing.  We are all different! That is a wonderful thing. Life would be boring if we were all the same. I would also hope that it wouldn’t make adopting more difficult for gay men. That seems absurd to me. No doubt there are two loving men who would  be way better parents than some male/female couples. Maybe some men also have a more nurturing nature than some woman down the street. Human beings are complex. I am no woman’s studies expert but in my little world and brain I don’t see anything wrong with some women being more naturally inclined to be motherly. I don’t fault those who don’t feel that way. I would never say two men cannot be loving amazing fathers because they are men.

Are people really taught how to be parents? What about people who had  rough childhoods?  Abusive parents, alcoholism, neglect, etc. But then they grow up eliminating that cycle? They are loving and nurturing and genuinely good parents. Is that behavioral because they saw something they didn’t like? But what makes them disagree with it instead of thinking that parenting was normal? Then other children do not break that cycle and end up also being how their parents were. Then you have people who were brought up in loving homes and they end up being abusive and neglectful. Or people who were in loving homes and continue that. Where does that difference come from in people? We are all so different and respond so differently to things that I cannot accept the fact that everything is behavioral from your surroundings. There has to be something innate in your being that helps guide you to agree and disagree with the things you experience.

I think it is a pretty fascinating concept. I think discovering anything with the human body and genetics is pretty amazing. I always find it amazing how we are all so different. Why do we think the way we think? Why do we feel the way we feel. What makes some people more inclined towards a certain thing than others? Something plays a role there and I don’t think it is all behavioral. I allow Jack to play with all sorts of toys. He was naturally drawn to his cars. Obsessed with them. Lately he has been into playing with his stuffed animals more. He holds them, hugs them. and plays doctor and gives them check ups and surgery. Is that all because of his makeup or is it from his surroundings. I would love to know. He doesn’t like finger painting because he doesn’t like the gunk on his hands. He does love stickers though. Our house can attest to that, so can this laptop I am tying on. One type of craft agrees with him and the other doesn’t.

I wanted to take a photo and he leaned in for a hug! Talk about heart melting!

I truly love being a mom. There are some days that are harder than others but from the moment I knew I was pregnant I was enamored. That doesn’t make me a better mom than other people though. That doesn’t make me better than the mom in the article who never saw herself being a mom but now has a 3 year old who she covers in hugs and kisses. It just means I knew what I wanted to do with part of my life before other women who weren’t the Olympic champions of house playing. At the same time I finally decided what I eventually want to do career-wise! I changed my major several times, got a degree in History, I am not using that, now I am back in school for Pilates. So while I had my brain together about motherhood, I did not feel strongly about a career outside of being a mom. We are all different. I think that should be celebrated, loved, embraced, and most importantly respected. I wouldn’t change a thing about my path. It led me to my husband and my son. To my happy little family unit. These two men who I am over the moon about, even if sometimes they frustrate me, haha! At the end of the day I love them with all my being and I would be lost without them. They are my whole world and THAT makes me happy. In the end if you are doing what makes you happy that is all that matters.

Going down a slide together! Some days I get to be a child all over again!