Ok so I am trying something new here. My laptop is old and has officially stopped connecting to the Internet. It’s just broken for good. My husband owns a software company and it what I like to call a computer genius. He is baffled as to what is wrong with it. THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO A DEVICE OF MINE BEFORE! He has always been able to figure out the issue and fix it or declare a solution.

I am typing this on my iPad. The iPad is great and all, but typing on it is not the same as my laptop. I haven’t used a computer computer in days! I was missing blogging. I wanted to write a post discussing an article. I thought of it yesterday while on the elliptical. But now I cannot recall what article it was. Sigh…..I am sure it will come back to me. I should have tried this yesterday. 

Instead, I will talk about last night. I try to project positive thoughts online. I have found complaining too much does no good. I have mentioned this before. However, I am feeling a little frustrated with myself. I have to write about it. I have to start working through it. 

Last night I had my first practice teaching session on the Reformer with a non classmate. My wonderful sister in law Melissa was my guinea pig and came to class with me. We had to bring a client. I was definitely more comfortable because she was with me. It is easier when you’re familiar with someone. But I know I still sucked. I am so mad at myself today. I didn’t come close to getting through my whole class. I spent way too much time on footwork, this was pointed out to me after the clients left.

I am seriously doubting myself. This is not a cry for attention, build me up please! No, I seriously am doubting if I am going to be good at this. There is so much information in so little time. So many details. I am not a stupid gal, I know that. I’ve been through a tough university. I finished and graduated. But I had years to complete things. I am not sure where I am going with this, but I know I am having doubts. I am afraid I cannot articulate the instruction correctly AND with cuing that is clear to the client.

I apologized to Melissa for sucking. I seriously said that in my text to her. She assured me I didn’t suck and that I am still learning. But I still feel I did awful. I KNOW I can do better. I KNOW the verbiage in my head can be articulated more clearly when I speak. But then I open my mouth and I am a hot mess. Somewhere there is a disconnect and I am stumbling about.

When Jack gets up and ready for the day we are heading to Office Depot for some index cards. I had a lot of detail memorization when working on obtaining a History degree. I used homemade flash cards a lot. It is time to go back to my college studying roots. 

Ps I hated typing on here. Autocorrect is a know it all who doesn’t know it all. Creating ridiculous words out of nowhere. Stop it autocorrect you’re drunk! 😉 Also, the format on the iPad is wonky. I cannot do most things I want to do! I clicked add tags and then the option just vanished. Hopefully my husband decides on a laptop for me soon…..