Hugs are a big deal in our home. We actually “squeeze!” It all started a couple months ago when my mom and I were hugging and trying to get Jack to give a hug too. My mom started squeezing me, saying “squeeeeeze” Then I would squeeze her. Jack thought it was so funny to watch us do that. It stuck with him. Somehow that little moment morphed into a daily/nightly thing for Jack, Jason, and me! Every night before we put Jack in his crib we all do our squeeeeezes. He even says squeeeeeeze. A squeeze is not a regular hug. A squeeze is a serious business, tight, big, all encompassing hug. It is soulful and powerful. It is part of our family now.

As I read 10 Reasons Why We Need at Least 8 Hugs a Day, I couldn’t help but agree with all 10 points. I often stop what I am doing and just hug or squeeze Jackson. For several moments. It just feels amazing. Mind Body Green’s list is in bold, my thoughts are in italics.

1. The nurturing touch of a hug builds trust and a sense of safety. This helps with open and honest communication.

Jack and me

Jack and me

 The first thing Jack does when he is hurt or scared is run to me for an embrace. Safety. I am his safety. My arms, my touch, my squeeze provide him with the comfort he needs. I haven’t stopped hugging him daily since the moment he was born. We have that trust and safety established. 
2. Hugs can instantly boost oxytocin levels, which heal feelings of loneliness, isolation, and anger.
 My dear aunt passed away in early August. When I read this one I immediately thought to the moments in the funeral home. When everyone but the pallbearers leave. I was a pallbearer. So were my brothers. I was just devastated. My brother Dan was nearby. He is a year and a half younger than me and a foot taller than me. Suddenly I just flew over to him, sobbing, and wrapped my arms around him. We were both a mess. I think that is the longest we have ever hugged. Just trying to get rid of those negative emotions, trying to boost the oxytocin levels. Unbeknownst to us, obviously. We hugged like that because we hurt, and there was this natural instinct to embrace to ease that pain. 
3. Holding a hug for an extended time lifts one’s serotonin levels, elevating mood and creating happiness.
 I certainly was not happy after that long hug in the funeral home, but I did feel a slight release. I was able to get through carrying her casket, the funeral service, the cemetery, and the luncheon. There were many more hugs with many other people mixed in there too. Hugging is something that happens a lot when we are mourning. While we all do not carry around hugging research notes, we do all know on a basic level, that a hug helps. 
4. Hugs strengthen the immune system. The gentle pressure on the sternum and the emotional charge this creates activates the Solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body’s production of white blood cells, which keep you healthy and disease free.
 This is beyond my scope of practice, however, I do believe in the power of touch. From massages to your Pilates instructor gently touching you to help you through a move. It can have immense power over the body, whether factual or perceived.
5. Hugging boosts self-esteem. From the time we’re born our family’s touch shows us that we’re loved and special. The associations of self-worth and tactile sensations from our early years are still embedded in our nervous system as adults. The cuddles we received from our Mom and Dad while growing up remain imprinted at a cellular level, and hugs remind us at a somatic level of that. Hugs, therefore, connect us to our ability to self love.
I agree wholeheartedly with this point. I truly have hugged Jack daily. We would spend hours cuddling when he was a newborn. I have never felt you can  spoil a child with too much love or hugs. He will be playing, run up to me, and hug my legs, saying “hug” (see it is different than a squeeze in his book!) He does that a lot. He is special and very loved, and if hugging fosters that, then I will never stop. He better get used to his momma being huggy!
 
6. Hugging relaxes muscles. Hugs release tension in the body. Hugs can take away pain; they soothe aches by increasing circulation into the soft tissues.
I can see this too. Sometimes if I am just feeling stressed or exhausted I stop and I just hug Jack. A long deep hug. I soak up that moment. It just feels nice! I will rock him back and forth and tell him I love him. When the hug is over, things seem better. 
 
7. Hugs balance out the nervous system. The galvanic skin response of someone receiving and giving a hug shows a change in skin conductance. The effect in moisture and electricity in the skin suggests a more balanced state in the nervous system – parasympathetic.
Again, beyond my scope of practice, but why not? Just hug away and reap the possible positive effects! It doesn’t hurt you to try. The mind has a lot of power over the body. I can see how a balanced, hugged mind, could balance the nervous system. 
 
8. Hugs teach us how to give and receive. There is equal value in receiving and being receptive to warmth, as to giving and sharing. Hugs educate us how love flows both ways.
YES! I think Jack is a great example of this. He is generous in so many ways. Is that because his mom never stops hugging him? Perhaps. I take you back a few points to how he loves to run up and hug me in the middle of playing. I often  stop what I am doing just to hug him too. I give hugs, I receive them. He gives hugs, he receives them. 
 
9. Hugs are so much like meditation and laughter. They teach us to let go and be present in the moment. They encourage us to flow with the energy of life. Hugs get you out of your circular thinking patterns and connect you with your heart and your feelings and your breath.

Our wedding

Our wedding

I mentioned how sometimes when things are hectic that I just stop and scoop up Jack for a big hug. I do that first thing when he wakes up too. It really does stop everything else and allows you to just be there. I don’t think about other things. I think about how wonderful that hug feels. 
I could use this when hugging my husband. He tends to want hugs when I am in the middle of something, cooking, dishes, cleaning, trying to get 1000 things done. I admit I am naughty and I tell him a lot that I have to finish what I was doing. I am trying to get better and stop, be in the moment, the dishes can wait. I apply that to Jack so often, my poor husband deserves that too. But then that sneaky thought attacks, if I stop everything all the time for both of them, NOTHING gets done. No one is perfect, we all have our obstacles. Sigh…
 
10. The energy exchange between the people hugging is an investment in the relationship. It encourages empathy and understanding. And, it’s synergistic, which means the whole is more than the sum of its parts: 1 1 = 3 or more! This synergy is more likely to result in win-win outcomes.

This point takes me back to number 9. I am invested in my marriage. I need to remember to let go of all of my tasks for 30 seconds. It will be fine, 30 seconds is fine. Being a mom and a wife is tough! You have so many needs of so many others to meet. You try to balance it all. My hubby can get pushed to the side at times. I have this theory, he can wipe his own butt, Jack cannot. He can manage to take care of himself, while I care for our toddler. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE DOESN’T NEED HUGS TOO!!!! 

 

This article helped me to think about those last two points. Hugging is phenomenal. I love to hug my loved ones. Jack gets so many hugs around here. But life is about balance. I have things I need to work on. I suppose that means when he walks in the door tonight, my husband deserves a SQUEEEEEZE!

Do you hug daily? Do you hug your children daily? Are you trying to work more human touch into your life? Are you really good about stopping things for your kids, but could use a lesson in applying that elsewhere in your life, like me? Do you  have any hugging traditions like us?