This pregnancy is a lot different than my first one. I could go on and on with a list. For the purposes of this post though, I won’t. I still don’t even feel that this is happening. With Jack I felt like a pregnant momma as soon as I found out. I haven’t worked out why. Maybe because we were trying for a lot longer? Maybe because I wasn’t already a mom? Maybe because I wasn’t certain of what was ahead for me. I am older and wiser now. Maybe I am distracted with the emotions I have for the 3 year old I already birthed. Who knows. I am sure it will come with time and progression.
One thing that does get me excited is hearing Jack talk about the baby in my belly. That boy is so over the moon with the idea of a little brother or sister that sometimes I am almost knocked off my feet by him. He asks me questions all the time. He talks about the baby all the time.
He was feeding me almonds. He asked “mommy, does the baby like almonds?”
I was feeling particularly ill and he wanted to help make me feel better. As he was trying to cheer me up he said “Mommy will the baby laugh when I am silly to her? Will she like when I tickle her?” (we don’t know the sex yet)
“Mommy I want to see the baby.”
“Well it is in my belly and has to grow”
“I want to see it right now!”
He rubs my belly and kisses it. I am a little over 8 weeks along. So no giant bump yet. But he knows.
I have been telling him the size of the baby in fruit terms. Whenever I remember to check. I told him last week that they baby was as big as a blueberry. A few hours later he went to my husband and said “there’s a big baby blueberry in mommy’s belly”
Today he asked me if the baby was the size of a grape yet. So we looked it up, it is not. It is the size of a raspberry.
My heart swells at how interested he is in this. He tells me all the time he will help me with the baby, except for the poop. He won’t help with poop! Every time I feel like how am I going to raise TWO kids? How can I juggle that? He comes on by and knocks me off my feet with some lovely comment about his unborn sibling. It makes this transition I am trying to prepare myself for a little easier. I know he will be such a wonderful big brother and I know that HE will love having another child in the house. It helps to settle my mind on if we made the right choice or not.
So while I may have these utter moments of panic about our whole system being shaken, Jack reminds me that this baby is as much about his life as it is mine. 3 year olds have a way of bringing genuine unfiltered innocence into the room, especially when you need it the most.
Nicole M. VandeBoom 