Life since having Alexander has never been boring! Today I rushed him to the 45 minute window of walk-in hours at our pediatrician. Over the weekend he had a fever that bounced around. He has been irritable, not eating, and barely drinking. Yesterday the fever was totally gone! Except he was covered in a rash on his torso and kept putting his finger in his ear. I called about the rash, they said that was normal after a fever. By nighttime it had spread to his pelvis. This morning the rash was worse and had spread to his face. When I went into his room his finger was in his ear.

I got them both up, dressed, fed, and out the door in record time. I am talking about 20 minutes here! That is unheard of.

He was cleared of having an ear infection! Phewf. However, he does have Roseola. Another virus. He keeps getting slammed with one after the other. On top of that he still has his chronic diarrhea. It flared up a bit yesterday through today.

Tomorrow he has his GI appointment. Our pediatrician did not want him to wait until the end of April to see one, so she called the GI office and had them figure out a way to see us sooner.

I would be lying if I said that I am not stressed out. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t totally exhausted. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t in a constant state of worry. I would be lying if I said that I didn’t feel anxious every time I went to check his diaper. I would be lying if I said I sleep soundly at night. I don’t. Not one bit. I would be lying if I said that this hasn’t started to take a toll on me physically. Last week I was nauseated for 4 days straight. Terrible nausea that barely allowed me to get off the couch. I forced myself to, because I had no choice, but I was barely able to be upright. It took all of my strength.

I have a hard time asking for help. Maybe I am stubborn. Maybe I am too proud. Maybe I don’t want to bother other people. Maybe I am a control freak. I think it is all of those combined. I have been dealing with 99% of Alexander’s medical appointments, symptoms, issues, hysterical moments, record keeping, etc all by myself. My husband is insanely busy with his company. It is in a good way. Growth! But it just so happens to coincide with Alexander going through this rough patch in his health. Life works out that way sometimes. Good and bad together. Nothing is ever truly perfect. Tomorrow my mom is coming to the GI appointment with me. I feel like a slight amount has been lifted off of my shoulders. Even if it means she takes Jackson into the waiting room because he is getting squirrelly from being at the 1203043 appointment of his baby brother’s.

This is hard on him too. He breaks down crying anytime Alex is hysterical and upset. He tries his best to always make him laugh. He just wants his little brother to be happy. Today at the pediatrician he started getting upset before she even performed an exam on Alex because  Jackson knew Alex wouldn’t like it and was going to cry.

I would be lying if I said this hasn’t been hard on all of us.




This pretty much sums up how he has felt since Friday 😦