Archives for posts with tag: infant

The Last 5 Days

February 16, 2016 //
5

Last Thursday we received a final diagnosis for some issues our little guy has been having his entire life. Long story short he has Food-Protein Induced Enterocolitis Syndrome or F-PIES. In simple terms it is a food allergy affecting the GI tract. You can check out that link for a ton more information. He also has a blood test coming up next week to check for a ton of other food allergies. We will have some more information on those in the next coming weeks.

I have known something was off with him since he was born. He has always been a puker. He had a hard time gaining weight. Once we started introducing solid foods and eventually dairy milk (he seems to be lactose intolerant on top of F-PIES), his vomiting and diarrhea continued. The offending foods so far have been bananas and avocados. If he eats them, it never fails, a couple hours later is his vomiting profusely. One time he got so dehydrated and in distress that I rushed him to the ER.

From what I have been reading over the last 5 days, my breastmilk likely was not helping him. I say this because I live to eat bananas. Or at least I did. They are dead to me now. But I would freeze plates of them and eat them like chips. I would eat them in my smoothies every.single.day. Every day that baby was being exposed to something that made him ill. I had no idea.

I did bring this up on multiple occasions. I showed up to doctor’s appointments with a list of symptoms and incidents. Before he was on solids, because he was still happy and not seemingly in pain after throwing up it was dismissed as reflux. However, not a serious reflux so he never needed medication. He would just outgrow it. I was referred to some allergists by our pediatrician after the multiple fruit incidents. We researched them and picked one. When I called, they refused to see him because he was under 1. Since we wanted to see her and everyone else said they really didn’t think it was an allergy because he was only throwing up etc, we waited. I feel awful.

When we did finally see her, we hated her. The whole experience was miserable. I won’t go into individual details, but it was a bad time for all four of us. Then she had no idea about FPIES but thought it could sound like that. She left the room and literally Googled it. She printed what she found and gave it to us. Promising to call us back that week. She didn’t call back until a week later. We went home and found the exact information she gave us on our very first Google search. We were not happy. I called my pediatrician and explained the potential diagnosis. It then clicked with her that she has a couple patients with that and has another allergist who works with them.

I saw him last week. He was amazing. He is very versed in F-PIES. He went through the whole process with me. We scheduled the blood tests. He prescribed EPI Pens, that I now have to carry at all times. He needs them in case he gets to the point of dehydration he got to before the one ER visit. It won’t stop the allergic reaction, but it will bring his blood pressure back up and prevent a more serious situation that comes from that kind of distress on the body. We were given a letter to give to the paramedics and ER so they understand what this rare syndrome is. As we have learned, many doctors are not familiar with it at all.

The last five days have been incredibly reflective for me. I will literally never forgive myself for not figuring this out earlier. I will never forgive myself for eating the very food that makes him so ill and then continue to breastfeed. I will never forgive myself for his struggle to grow during his first year. I feel just terrible. I feel terrible that I didn’t demand more answers. I feel awful that I just accepted the fact that this one allergist didn’t see babies under 1. Why didn’t I pursue another allergist who WOULD see him? Why did I want to see her so badly based on silly online reviews? Why did I just accept his throwing up as reflux? Why didn’t I Google more and more and more? I get a lot of comments for how much I Google symptoms. I always hear that I shouldn’t freak out because of what I had found on Google. What if I had searched a few more terms and come across F-PIES when he was 6 months old? What if? What if? What if? Mom guilt, it is for real. I have never quite experienced it like I have in the last 5 days. I have felt guilty over other things, especially with balancing two kids. They are both playing around me as I type this. Jackson trying to show me some monster truck tricks and Alexander is raiding the pantry. I have fed, played with, read to, and bathed them already today. It is not even 10, so a few minutes to get this off my chest is not a big deal, yet I still feel kind of guilty. But nothing about how I feel over the first entire year of my sweet baby boy’s life. Maybe the next 5 days will be easier….

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Categories Food Allergy

2 Hour Increments

December 20, 2014 //
2

Tomorrow Mr. Alexander will be exactly 12 weeks old. A couple days after Christmas he officially turns 3 months old. In our current state I live my life in hour by hour increments. I am still breastfeeding him and on average he eats every two hours. This is the average time. He has longer spurts and there are even times where he eats in under two hours.

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I am always checking my little breastfeeding app. How long has it been? How long-ish do I have? What can I get done before he cries out for me? Can I run to the store and be back in time so my husband isn’t trying to calm a very hungry caterpillar? Can I run to the store with both boys, putting Alex in the Ergo, get our errands done, get him back in the carseat and home without him wanting to eat?

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Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes the answer is I have lots of time. This afternoon has been one of those times. It is 3 and 1/2 hours and counting since he last ate. He is napping though and well, tick tock.

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There are times where the answer is no and Jackson and I are scrambling to drive home while Alexander is presenting us with his lively chorus of hunger. We live outside of Chicago. It is the end of December. It is in the 30’s. We are all always bundled up and stopping to nurse wherever can be tricky with several layers of clothing on! I have stopped the car a couple times and pulled over, climbed in the backseat or brought him in the front seat to nurse him. Especially when we have been very far from home.

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2 hour increments. That is life right now. It isn’t bad. It can be tiring. Say he eats for 20 minutes. I hold him for a little while after and we cuddle. I finally put him down and get up to do something. He decides he is hungry in under 2 hours. The 2 hours begin the moment he began nursing. There are times where I literally have 20 minutes to do something.

With Jackson I lounged around so much. That sweet boy and I would sit on the couch all day, drifting in and out of sleep and breastfeeding. Sometimes when Alexander is nursing I am thinking about how much I have to do and is he even done yet?? There is SO much laundry, toys everywhere, dishes galore, and I need to do something about some of it. I put him in a contraption much more often than I did Jackson. Sigh. The poor second child. I feel so guilty sometimes. But things have to be tidied up or we will be living in filth. I have to wash and dry laundry or we will run out of things to wear, and did I mention it is winter? Jackson needs to poop and needs me to wipe him. Jackson wants something to drink. Jackson wants to cuddle with momma.

2 hour increments. They really do fly by. There is no way it can be time to eat again already? Oh look, my app says it has been 1 hour and 58 minutes, so it CAN be time to eat again. Where did those two hours go? I swore I just finished nursing. I still have more dishes to load.

Then there are those moments at 3am, because he wakes up at 3am like clockwork. He stops nursing and I am holding him in my arms. He is sound asleep, ready for me to gently place him in his crib. I take a moment to breathe him in. I resist kissing his sweet little mouth because I don’t want to wake him. I settle for his little fingers instead. I try to focus on his sweet cherub face with what little light there is in his room. Those cheeks are so full. He looks so peaceful and content. He has really filled out since being born. His cheeks are so squishy. I see a little double chin. I know under his sleep sack and jammies there are two thighs that have several little rolls in them. His new jammies are 6 months.

I did that. In 2 hour increments, I did that. For now, those moments bring me back to what really matters. 2 hour increments can really accomplish more than I imagine.

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Categories Breastfeeding, Jack, motherhood

One Month Old

October 29, 2014 //
0

Yesterday Alexander turned 1 month old. We told Jackson that it was like his birthday, he was a month old. He thought that meant we were throwing a party! All day he kept asking me when Alex’s party was. In his world, birthday equals a party. I tried to explain that it wasn’t a big birthday just a little one and the 4 of us would just celebrate at home. Preschoolers are so literal it is precious.

One month old

One month old

IMG_0210 IMG_0208Jackson picked out these monthly stickers well before Alexander was born. He saw me scrolling through Pinterest and stopped me when he saw these. He likes superheroes. I was planning on doing the monthly photos anyway, so I went ahead and bought what big brother picked out.

It has been almost 2 weeks since I last posted an update. I have been pretty tired. Ha! I wanted to write but my energy went elsewhere, the boys, nursing, working out, cleaning, errands. You know the drill. Last night I got a bit more sleep though. This week I even did Pilates two days in a row. I may do some this afternoon or we will go swimming tonight. I will say, things hurt. I am sore. It hurts to take a deep breath. I am so overjoyed at this! Dormant muscles are being used again. Since I refuse to weigh myself I keep thinking about losing what I call pregnancy inches. See ya later suckas!

I mentioned the tiredness. Alex has GREAT nights (last night) and he has terrible horrible no good very bad nights (the two nights before last). We weren’t the only ones exhausted from his all night parties. Jackson doesn’t nap much anymore. He certainly doesn’t go to his room for a sanctioned nap. This happened Monday evening as I was cooking dinner. He was watching The Little Mermaid when I looked over at him.

IMG_0159It was pretty adorable to see him just go for it. I wish I could nap like that, anytime anywhere!

We have been maintaing our normal schedule, preschool, soccer, tae kwon do. I go shopping with both boys regularly. We went to our first family party with Alex on Saturday. Life has kept moving forward even with our newborn addition. There’s no rest for the wicked. I would really like a little more rest though.

Alexander has been busy doing a lot of this IMG_0155

And this

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And this

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Babies have it rough.

He does feel heavier to me the past few days. I usually notice it as I am readjusting him to my arms after a nursing session. He feels more like something and less like air as I transition him. So, he is growing. He loves the Ergo carrier. I always have it with me. He loves ME to hold him. He can be screaming his head off for my husband and I just have to take him in my arms and he quiets. He doesn’t want to eat, he just wants momma.

Alex and Jacky are really adorable together. IMG_0164IMG_0070IMG_0027

see, I am tired....

see, I am tired….

Jackson just wants to help and be a part of everything. If Alex is in his swing crying and I am not there instantly, Jackson walks up to him and in a singsong high pitched voice and says “it’s ok, big brother is here. It’s ok. Jacky is here” He helped wash Alex’s hair the other night. He gets me my boppy if I ask him. He grabs diapers. He rubs Alex’s face. He hugs him. He is understanding when I need to shut my eyes on the couch in the afternoon while he watches way more TV that he should be.

Ah, one day we will go on our frequent adventures again. Right now though, we hang out at home way more than normal. I guess that is our temporary new normal. I am sure I will be more ready for all day long adventures just as the bitterness of winter is setting in. It is a good thing we live outside of Chicago, because at that point we will be museum frequenters. At least I have tons to choose from.

On that note, I have an hour to shower and get us out the door to preschool. Everyone but me is still asleep. Had it not been a school day, I too would still be laying in my bed drifting between awake and sleep until I heard those newborn hunger cries blaring through my monitor or until a 3 year old padded into my room and rubbed my face saying “mommy”

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Categories Jack

Baby’s Room and Gear

August 26, 2014 //
0

I am in the middle of week 34. It is crazy to think that this baby boy could be here in 5 & 1/2 weeks. 

34 weeks 1 day. I can't wait to put all of these belly kiss photos together.

34 weeks 1 day. I can’t wait to put all of these belly kiss photos together.

Realistically he will be here sometime in the next 6 weeks. I am hoping for 5 1/2-6 weeks, not sooner. Big brother Jackson was born 4 days after his due date. He thrived. He was alert from the moment he left my body. Born with wide open eyes. This is the first photo of him I shared with people. 

Jackson

Jackson

See, very alert just an hour or so after he was born. I want the same for this sweet boy. Healthy, strong, alert. So I am fine with waiting past October 4th if I have to. But either way, 6 weeks will fly by with a 3 & 1/2 year old to keep me busy. 

We made a lot of progress this past weekend on Alexander’s bedroom. It is practically done. All I am waiting on is my new glider. It was set to arrive at the end of August, so tick tock. But the major things are all completed. 

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Crib, bunting, and garland

This was the first thing I had completed. It was all by its lonesome while we waited for a situation with the dresser we ordered to be fixed. I am so excited about his color and pattern schemes. I have had some fun mixing different patterns and colors. It feels so fresh in there. 

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Hand painted sign and toy basket

I painted that sign for him. It is one of my hobbies. I don’t paint as much as I would like but I do from time to time. My favorite things to paint are things for my boys. Jackson has an assortment of paintings. This sign in particular is special for Alexander. It is from the song that inspired his name. I fell in love with the name Alexander because of Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros’ song Home. I had to incorporate it into his room somehow and I solved the problem of creating my own painting. The basket is a Colonial Mills rope basket. I have a few of those throughout his room. I also have a couple from Target. I went with the woven basket theme for storage. 

Speaking of storage….

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Closet

This is his walk in closet. It was the only bedroom closet on the 2nd floor the previous owners did not have redone at The Container Store. I felt I had to spruce it up a touch. I simply lined all the shelves, 9 total, with chevron shelf paper. It took a bit of time to cut them all down but I am very happy with how it brightens up his closet. Those grey baskets are the woven ones from Target. 

Dresser

Dresser

This dresser was an adventure. It took us over a month to get all the pieces from the company. I won’t go into the long story. It looks really nice though. I am obsessed with that lamp! I had to have it. It is by Zutano. I purchased it off of Amazon. The curtains are from Pottery Barn Kids. They are blackout curtains. Grey chevron. They are lovely and do a great job of blocking out the sun. The blue basket is Colonial Mills and again the grey is from Target. The floating shelves are also from Target. I like Target, ha! The seat turns into a bassinet and we may use it in our bedroom for a little while. We will see. Jackson was in his own crib about one night after we got home. But this chair easily switches from a bassinet to a seat while baby is in it, so it will be perfect for use around the house. 

That is where we are with Alexander’s bedroom. Once my glider arrives and I get my pouf and side table I will share that set up. All of his clothing is washed, folded, and put away in his drawers. He has newborn diapers, wipes, tons of blankets, and swaddlers. We are using Jackson’s infant carseat. I have our new Joovy Sit N Stand stroller. That hangs out in our dining room. 

Carseat, Joovy Sit N Stand stroller, and a carseat cover from Etsy

Carseat, Joovy Sit N Stand stroller, and a carseat cover from Etsy

I am also obsessed with this carseat cover. I love it. Being an October baby in Chicago, I am guessing he will get a lot of use out of it. 

I even have my diaper bag, which I definitely treated myself to. I decided that since my whole world is now men, that I would get a diaper bag that screams me and is truly for me, reflecting my style. IMG_0015I have an obsession with Kate Spade everything. Not just diaper bags. I keep this sweet thing in the plastic wrap in the shipping box. I haven’t taken even one tag off yet. I have considered starting to pack it a bit for the hospital. That will probably happen in the next week or so. A small secret? I definitely got this during their recent flash sale. So not only did I get a perfectly me diaper bag by my favorite designer, but I got it at a steal of a price. Triple score. 

And now, we wait out the next handful of weeks! I cannot wait to cuddle with both of my little boys. 

 

 

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Categories Childhood, family, Momommahood, motherhood, parenthood, parenting, Pregnancy

In Every Stage You Pass Through

August 6, 2014 //
0

I am a bookworm. I have been since before I learned how to read. I have vivid memories of my mom reading to me when I was a little girl. After learning how to read, I couldn’t put books down. I would spend hours in the library deciding on which books to check out next. It was always torture that I could only take a few at a time. My grandma would take me to the library with her and we would spend hours? there. To me it seemed like hours. I am not sure how long it was in actual time. As a child though, I was in that magical wonderful place for what seemed like an eternity. In college I spent a lot of time studying in the library. If I had time in between classes I would head there to read, study, work on things, or just be there.

I have worked to pass that on to Jackson and soon Alexander. Their book collection is extensive. I even have a book box where I add new books all the time and Jackson gets to pick a new book rather often. Last night I decided to grab two new books that I wanted to read to him. One of them is titled If I Could Keep You Little.

I bought this book a while ago. I read it in the store and cried. The premise is a mom who would love to keep her child little but knows she would then miss out on all the great things they did as they grew. I think this is my number one struggle as a mom. The idea that one day my boys will leave the nest. That one day I will have to let them go play outside in the big world without my hand a few inches away. I try to not be a total helicopter parent. I don’t hover constantly, especially in our home. I let Jackson play on his own. But outside, in the big scary world? He is only 3 & 1/2. I am not ready to let him wander. I don’t have to be ready quite yet, but one day I will.

The tantrums and arguing back can be hard. The bad days where we all don’t seem to sync up can be rough. But that is not the hardest part for me. With those moments I have about a 2 second rebound rate. I never feel defeated or that it drags out to the next day or even the next moment. Sometimes I can reset with just 20 minutes. It is the letting go that I know I will struggle with more and more as my boys grow.

Having a new baby on the way 4 years after we were expecting Jackson has proved that. I have seen now how much I have let go over the past 3 & 1/2 years. Much to my surprise. Things changed a little every single day. I do it, but it doesn’t mean that it was easy. To be honest, I usually still feed Jackson dinner. He can do it. He prefers me to help him. Much to my husband’s eye rolls. But one day he won’t want mommy to scoop his food and feed him. I will probably be trying to convince him to sit down and eat with us! Those are the kinds of things I think about. While I am saying “But Jackson, you are a big boy, you can feed yourself, right? You do it at breakfast and lunch!” In my head I am just perfectly fine with scooping that pasta into his mouth for him.

I made it through the book this time without crying. I didn’t even choke up when I read it to him. I even was able to point out similarities in his life and watched a big smile beam across his sweet soft face. My lap has less room these days. My belly is getting big. Less than 2 months to go until I have two boys squirming for space. But each day we cuddle on Jackson’s old rocking chair and we read books. We adjust every day to that growing belly. I suppose that is what parenting is. Every day you adjust to the changes just a touch. You have to wiggle something over to make room for something new and different. Some new skill, ability, task, thought, need, or want. Sometimes it happens without you even realizing it. When did my belly get so round? When did Jackson have to learn to sit differently on my lap? It wasn’t in one fell swoop. We grew together.

How I long to keep my boys little. Even looking back on infant photos of Jackson, which I have done more and more lately, I wonder, how did he grow into this boy? As we tucked him in and he had to show me one last fancy trick before being snuggled under his blankets I just watched his face. The book fresh in my mind. He used to be this squishy little infant, with a personality, but certainly not this specific personality. When did he grow into this little boy and leave that squishy infant behind? When did I stop using onesies? When did my world revolve around themed tshirts and pajamas? Spiderman adorned my sweetheart from head to toe last night. No more sweet baby blue footie pjs for him. He used to fit into all the clothing I have purchased for Alexander. Now, you couldn’t get a foot in some of those.

But, like that book tells me, if I kept him in those, I would miss out on him calling to me as I left “Mommy one more hug and kiss. Hugs and kisses are my favorite.” They are mine too sweet boy, whether you’re a newborn or a grown man. They will always be my favorite, in every stage you pass through.

Our growing family

Our growing family

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Categories Childhood, family, Jack, Momommahood, motherhood, parenthood, parenting, Pregnancy, toddlerhood

May Your May Be Happy

May 21, 2014 //
0

This month has brought so much joy with it! Mother’s Day was wonderful. My husband really went out of his way to make sure I felt special and appreciated. I was showered with 3 bouquets of flowers! One from each of my boys. I got several wonderful gifts, including a book with 50 reasons why Jacky loves me! Jason asked him all the questions and then filled out his 3 year old answers. It was easily the most precious thing ever.

We had our anatomy ultra sound, which confirmed the DNA results, we are definitely having another boy! His gender image was as clear as Jackson’s. I saw the penis before she even pointed it out. Everything else went well with that check up. My mom came with us and was able to get a real time sneak peak at her youngest grandchild. The kicker? He was waving at us. His little tiny hand waving back and forth near his face at one point. It was so sweet.

On the same day I reached 20 weeks, half way through, my sister in law was induced! The following morning at 3:03, my sweet pea niece was born. Oh my goodness! I am so in love with her. It is ridiculous. I have my boys at home, but to have a sweet little girl I get to spoil and send back to my brother and sister in law, oh that is just wonderful. I am over the moon with her. It is too funny because cause was born at 6lbs 3oz, and my child has literally never been that small outside of my uterus! I couldn’t believe how much of a difference a pound and a half and one inch makes in a newborn. I remember how little Jack was, but I could immediately tell she was so much smaller than he was. Babies are so incredible.

Jacky was a little afraid of her at first. He has never seen a baby that little. He didn’t want to hold her, but he was ok with touching her arm and face if someone else was holding her. When we got home we were looking at photos and he said “I love her!” They are going to be best friends! Our family is going to have three little cutie pies running around causing mischief. I cannot wait.

As far as this pregnancy, it is still far different than my first. My cravings are all healthy. I love limes, lemons, fruit, rice, more fruit, leafy greens, all natural almond butter, and so much water! It has been nice to not be craving junk 24/7. I move a lot as well. Having a 3 year old will do that to you. Life is different with a second pregnancy, but not bad. Just more to do and take care of. Less time to sit around eating and not moving! Ha! I will take it! On that note, today is a rest day. Mostly because My body is so sore from my workouts the past two mornings. But I will clean my home and move around.

20 weeks

20 weeks

This was yesterday morning. The middle of 20 weeks actually, but still in that half way point week. In all seriousness, I believe that 21 weeks will be the halfway point. Jacky was almost a week late. I have no misconceptions this time about my baby arriving on his actual due date. Ah, you learn so much the second time around! Two days ago also brought one more surprise. For the first time, we were able to feel Alexander kick by touching my belly! Jason was able to feel it as well. I know for certain we didn’t feel Jacky this early on. I know I was feeling movements, but Jason couldn’t feel them yet. I was totally shocked by it. Definitely happy, because it was an unexpected surprise!

I hope everyone is also having an awesome May! Here’s to the rest of the month being so wonderful.

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Categories Exercise, family, Fit Pregnancy, fitness, Healthy Living, Healthy Pregnancy, Jack, Momommahood, motherhood, parenthood, parenting, Pregnancy

Just Move!

May 3, 2014 //
0

I have heard that each pregnancy is often very different and unique. I have to admit, I stubbornly thought that was ridiculous until I experienced it myself. Regardless of the fact that I am having another boy, this pregnancy has been a lot different. I won’t go into each detail though. I do want to focus on one super cool aspect.

I felt this baby, Alexander, move MUCH earlier than I ever felt Jacky move. I am 18 weeks pregnant and I have been feeling him wiggling around in there for weeks now. It started off very faint. To the point where I wasn’t even convinced that is what I was feeling. As the days passed I began to understand exactly what I was feeling again. Now I feel him move every day, multiple times a day!

One of the coolest things I can do is actually make him move with some Pilates. It all started with a prenatal mat series I did on my vacation.

It starts with a series of half roll downs with bent legs. Roll halfway down, then all the way back up. You continue to build on that. You move onto rolling halfway down, holding, then tiny pulses up. The next part of the series is rolling halfway down, holding, then twisting to the right (obliques!) for several counts. Coming through center, hold, twist left for several counts, come center, roll up. Repeat.

Immediately after that you lie down for bridging. Once I articulate up into a bridge the little man moves to the very front of my lower abdomen. I can actually feel a little ball of a baby. I can feel him shifting around as an entire unit in there! It becomes so pronounced that my husband was able to feel the little baby ball (as I call it) as well! It never fails. I have done this series multiple times now and I can always count on him to wiggle his way to the front of my body and say hello to me!

It is no secret that I love fitness (um my blog name!) So when I find something even extra cool about it, I am overjoyed. I would do that series regardless of finding baby Alex in there, but the added bonus is a few moments of utter connection with my sweet unborn son. I love having this body awareness that Pilates (and proper fitness) provides you. Sometimes it feels like I am walking through this world with an extra sense. Or a more intense sense of feeling. Not emotional feelings, but a the actual physical sense of feeling within my own body and person.

Prenatal fitness is so important to me. Not just for myself. I advocate it to all women I know. I am probably annoying to those who don’t enjoy working out (which that concept is beyond my ability to comprehend, haha!) I truly feeling that staying active is vital to a long and healthy life. It gave me a nice healthy pregnancy the first time around. I didn’t know what I was doing then as well as I do now, with my added education in this field, but I found classes and videos. I searched for the answers then. The day I went into labor (past my due date!) I attended my prenatal swim class. I know every body is different and some women are severely restricted while pregnant, but if you are not, get up and move. Groove, dance, run, walk, find a class, do some planks, swim, just move. It is good for you. It is good for baby. And maybe, just maybe, your little one will poke to the front of your belly and say “hey momma! Thanks for moving and grooving this morning!”

On that note I will go up to my Pilates room and move myself. Tonight, we have plans for a swim in our pool. On top of chasing around a 3 year old boy! Moving is all I do. Ha!

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Categories Fit Pregnancy, fitness, Healthy Living, Healthy Pregnancy, Jack, Momommahood, motherhood, Motivation, parenthood, parenting, pilates, Pilates Mat, Pilates Series, Pregnancy, Running, toddler, working out

There ain’t no sunshine…

August 27, 2011 //
2

How can you tell if your milk supply is low? For the past 3 nights Jack has been waking up. Two of those nights he has been inconsolable. I feed him and he is up again in two or less hours, hysterical. Only one night did he eat and go back to sleep until morning. I am not sure what is wrong exactly. Last night tylenol did not work for him. I did nurse him around 1am and he is still sleeping. That nursing session I actually felt a bit of let down. So I KNOW he got some milk, and since he is obviously still asleep, he was satisfied. But the other times? I am not so sure.I used to get that feeling of let down a lot in the beginning. Every time I nursed or leaked. But after a couple months of my body adjusting, that feeling and the leaking began to subside. We got into a groove I suppose. I never leak now and once in a while I get that let down tingle.

Is it a low milk supply? Is it his teeth? Did he have some gas, because he had some earlier in the day. I just wish I could tell what was wrong with him right away so I could fix it to my best ability. I tried fixing all three of those issues. I hate seeing him upset. It is not the lack of sleep I have been getting that makes me want to solve this, it is his little upset face. It breaks my heart.

I had wanted to go see the lactation consultant last Monday, but I was sick. This does not happen during the day. He is happy during the day after nursing. My plan is to go this Monday, in two days. Yesterday I went running for the first time in about a week. I believe it was also the first time I had worked out at all in a week. Then we walked to the park. After his nap after the park we went to Kohl’s and I wore him as usual. This brings me back to the low supply. Maybe all the physical activity reduced it? Am I just bananas here and reading into things more than I should?

Maybe it is just a phase? Separation anxiety? He hates being away from me most of the time. You know that song “There Ain’t No Sunshine”? It comes on my Pandora mix often and I always say this is how Jackson feels when I even go into the other room! He loves to be around me! I do relish in that, I am not going to lie. We are rarely apart. I stay home with him and pretty much bring him everywhere I go. So maybe that could be a part of it?

I just don’t know. But I want to fix it. Not because of my own needs but because I really don’t like seeing him so upset. He is my world and I like when my world is laughing hysterically, not crying hysterically! I am determined to nurse him until he is a year. I would like to go past a year if it is possible. So this is very important to me. I do not want to have to supplement. I just don’t! I set myself a goal to try it, then to get to 6 months, and now I want it to be past a year. Because of this goal, I wonder am I stressing over something that isn’t even wrong? Because I am so concerned with reaching my goal, am I just blinded by unnecessary worry?

I feel like I have a lot of questions without a lot of answers. I guess that is parenting though!

If you have any ideas what this could be, let me know. Or did you go through something like this with your little one? Like I said I don’t mind having to get up with him. I am not bothered by it, I just want to comfort him and fix it for him so that he gets the good rest his little precious body needs!

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Categories Breastfeeding, Jack, Momommahood, motherhood, nursing, parenthood, parenting

My little sweet potato!

July 8, 2011 //
1

Yesterday was sweet potato day for Jackson!

they were pretty tasty!

He has become a little pro at eating his solids. It has become a part of his daily routine at this point. So he was in his chair all ready to go. He is a good little birdie and opens up his mouth as soon as he sees the spoon. He wasn’t paying attention to the color on the spoon though.

wth mom!

His reaction was rather hilarious! I still had the flash off from taking photos of the sweet potatoes. But I think the photo still speaks volumes. He was expecting avocado or pears. I have waited to introduce something new because we have been so busy. He does fine with the pears and avocado and I didn’t want to chance an allergic reaction. So far so good though. We aren’t allergic to foods really. Well I am a bit lactose intolerant but it doesn’t cause anything more than gas really. Too much info? So we are not overly concerned that he is going to have severe food allergies or anything. Now, seasonal or allergies to animals, most likely. We both have those.

Anyway. He was initially a bit shocked at the difference. Not quite sure what to make of this new flavor and texture. It is a bit thicker than anything I have given him before. His faces crack me up.

mom....

The second bite was still a bit confusing for him. He eventually warmed up to the entire experience. They are tasty, I tried some. There is a bit of sweetness to them. They do not taste awful, that is for sure.

I do love how vibrant the sweet potato is though. Such a beautiful orange.

I was happy to get another color into his diet. I have mentioned before that food colors are important to me. He is getting a whole new world of vitamins with the sweet potato. These were also easy to make. I have read that you should bake them. I decided to steam them. I cut them up into small pieces. I used two sweet potatoes. They steamed very quickly. They certainly did not take as long as a normal potato would take to cook.

As I mentioned I did not make them as thin as I have been  making the pears and even at times avocado. He is 5 months old now and has been eating solids for a month. I am ready to start making things a bit thicker for him. Next month I plan to introduce some spices to things as well.

a small smirk???

 

He did warm up to all of this. He realized they did taste good! He ate just about the entire serving. I think he had one or two spoonfuls left. I try to not force him to finish things. We were both raised that way, to finish what is on your plate. However, we both firmly believe that is never the way to eat.  I understand how this has been passed down through the past couple of generations. Especially with my grandparents being born during the Great Depression. You shouldn’t be wasteful. BUT, really, you should only eat until you are full. I try to only take a bit of food and go back for more if I am still hungry. With him, it is hard to gauge still. No big deal. But we do not want to instill that he has to eat even if he is no longer hungry. So if he is no longer interested I don’t fight him. If he isn’t interested in the beginning I stop and we try again later. Not worth fighting or getting stressed over.

see, he loves to eat! I am not lying!

If he is hungry, he will eat. I know my child. He loves to eat, so if he is avoiding it, there is a reason. I cannot get over how funny and fun he is during all of this solid food eating. Today should be interesting again. I wonder if he will remember that they are yummy, or if he will be initially shocked?

On another note. Jackson is over 5 months old now. I cannot get over how quickly he is growing. We have started getting him to stand. Not on his own, but his leg muscles are very strong. He enjoys being on his legs. I am starting to get nervous. He is going to be running around here soon. Jason cannot wait…..and me, well I miss my little newborn!

My hands are just there so he doesn't fall over....all his weight is on those perfect chubby little legs

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Categories Baby food, Healthy Living, Jack, Momommahood, Recipes

Avocado fun!

June 16, 2011 //
0

Yesterday I introduced avocado to Jackson.

mmm avocado puree

I was not sure how it would go over. He wasn’t really into the rice or the banana I made for him. I was pretty sure it would be another grimace session. I was totally wrong. He absolutely LOVED it. He has never been so eager since we began a week and a half ago! He was all smiles.

tasty!

He kept opening his mouth for more. I was by myself, since he eats solids around lunch time. I kept trying to take photos and video, so Daddy could see his excitement. Jack kept getting impatient with me if I didnt get the next scoop into his mouth quickly enough!

more please!

It was so precious. I am not sure who was more excited, him or me! I even heard him make the “mmmmmm” sound a few times. He ate the whole serving of food too.

mmmmm momma! mmmmm

I was actually scraping the sides of the bowl trying to get as much out of it as I could.

I have so much fun making his food. I really enjoy it. Because avocado should be made fresh I bring him into the kitchen with me after he has some milk around lunch time. I give him toys to play with. We put on music too. I sing and dance while I prepare his food. It is a nice time together and I am cherishing these moments so very much. I LOVE doing things with him and this is just one more activity I can add to the list. He is happy just being in the same room as me. I am lucky to have such an easy happy go lucky baby boy! We will be doing more avocado today, tomorrow, and Saturday. I think I will introduce pears next! Then I may go back to bananas. I may even try a banana-avocado puree.

 

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Categories Baby food, Healthy Living, Jack, Momommahood