Archives for posts with tag: milestones

Today was Jackson’s last day of soccer. He is 3. There were no games. It was basically indoor skills practice. He has had a difficult time with soccer. He is good at dribbling and scoring. He enjoys playing it, at home. The boys he plays with are mostly 4 year olds. They have played before and can be aggressive with each other and the ball. My little man tends to be on the more non confrontational side. So there have been many tears on Tuesday morning trying to convince him to get in the car to just finish up what we joined.

Over the past 3 weeks his confidence has grown. I could see him enjoying himself a little bit more while he was on the field. This morning I had been thinking I wished there were one or two more weeks because I feel he would start to say he enjoys it. But all things must end.

Today there was one 4 year old boy that was being quite nasty. He was throwing elbows when trying to steal the ball. He was pushing Jackson. The worst moment? I saw him actually get close to my son and spit in his face! The coach happened to not see that. He has about 7 little 3 and 4 year old boys to guide. His back was turned. I could see my son’s face from the sidelines. I wanted to get up and scream at that little monster. How dare he! What do his parents teach him? I held my tongue. I watched my poor son aghast take a step back. I could see he said something like “no” to the boy. However, that was all he did. He is non confrontational. Not that I want him to spit back, because I don’t! But it made my heart ache to see this happen to MY kid. One of the most disgusting and disrespectful things.

A few moments later he stole Jackson’s ball. I cheered for Jack to go after him and steal it back. He did. The kid threw another elbow. The coach saw this time. Jack came running to me to tell me what happened. I assured him he was ok and that it wasn’t nice that he did that but to keep trying to get the ball and score a goal. Meanwhile the coach started lecturing the other boys on how they do not use their hands and arms to get the ball from someone, only their feet.

I am protective of my child. Most moms are. I have yelled at other kids at the park who would throw sand when he was a baby and playing in the sand. I have told nasty older children to be mindful and nice to the toddlers at the park. But he was a little guy who still wobbled when walking and often needed help on most things at the park. This was one of the first times I did not step in. He is starting to become a child. Not just a baby. I wanted to step in. Everything in me screamed to go say something to the coach. “That boy SPIT in my child’s face!” What would have happened? Nothing. It was the last day. It is preschooler skills development. There are no yellow or red cards. The coach would have just told the other kid not to spit.

This was the first time I had to face the fact that shitty things are sometimes going to happen to my boys. And during some of those shitty things I won’t be able to intervene. All I will be able to do is be there after the fact to console them, listen to them, love them, and let them know it will all be ok eventually. On our way out we chatted about the things that had happened. I told him I saw what that boy did and it was nasty and wrong of him. He shouldn’t have done it and I was sorry it happened to Jackson. I also explained when he does play soccer with other kids it is ok to keep trying to get his ball back with his feet. To follow through and stick with it. I didn’t tell him to throw an elbow if someone is being particularly douchey, though I was tempted. Ha!

Milestones don’t end after the first year or so. They just come in different forms. Sometimes they are milestones for your child and sometimes they are actual parenting milestones for you. Today, this was a big parenting milestone for me. It will probably bother me for a long time that some little jerk spit in my chubby cheeked sweetheart’s face. I probably won’t forget this day in particular. A little piece of my heart was left on that indoor soccer field this morning.


Today my baby is OVER six months old. Yesterday he turned 6 months. On Wednesday night I was clinging to the fact that it was his last night being 5 months old. I truly feel as if time is just slipping through my fingers like sand. I love him so much it is ridiculous. I am in wonder of him. He is just an amazing person. I find it fascinating how quickly their personalities shine through. I wrote a bit about this on facebook yesterday but I will mention it again. He is so very brave and courageous. I see it in him every day. If he wants something he goes for it. He thinks about the consequences later, like falling over while sitting up. He normally sits supported by his own hands, yet he always wants to play with something while sitting. He just goes for it. Lets go with one or both hands to grab for his toy. I am always there to catch him right now, but he just goes for it and will take the tumble, as long as he gets his toy. I know that I am in trouble very soon as he starts moving. He is going to be in everything. And honestly, that is ok. I want him to explore and develop his curiosity.

Speaking of that, yesterday was his last time at Level 1 Gymboree class. Next Thursday he begins Level 2! Yikes! I think it will be fun though, even during his adjustment period. I think we will learn a lot of fun things to try out at home.

Being a mom is hard and tiring work. No doubt about that. I feel more exhausted now than I did in the beginning. He has been sleeping through the night lately but yet I am always utterly exhausted at the end of the day. Because we do so much more now.

I am pretty sure he has started posing for photos with me. He does this move in a few lately lol

Our days are filled with adventure. I love it. I feel so accomplished at the end of the day. I spent the day helping my little man grow, explore, develop, and learn. I have always wanted to be a mom. Playing house was my most favorite game as a little girl. I would dream of how great it was. But I never imagined it would be this amazing. Hard, tiring, amazing, wonderful, lovely, messy, worrisome, all of those in one huge bundle of awesome. I wouldn’t change a thing. Like I mentioned in my last post, I am totally satisfied with our life right now. It has been crossing my mind a lot lately, how blessed I am to honestly feel satisfied and content with life!

On a totally different note. Mosquitoes have been cramping my style lately. I am itching, pun intended, to go for a run.  However, where we live, in Lake County, the mosquitoes have been ridiculous. I was outside for about 3 minutes the other day at 2pm. I tried to take Jack swimming in his splash pool. I was swarmed! I counted at least ten brand spanking new bites! I rushed him back inside. I want to go running but the area where I run is very woodsy and there are several yards along the way I know are prone to flooding AND I run around the lake. All a perfect storm for the little bloodsuckers. So I haven’t been getting out there. I have been doing my SHAPE dvd. It is what it is. I miss the runs but I cannot put him at risk with the bites or myself really since I nurse him. It is going to be time very soon for me to look into getting a membership somewhere. First it was the out of control heat and now it is these bugs. Fall will be here soon enough and that should be nice. There are a couple 5ks I plan to do with Jason and Jack. How fun, family runs!

So here is to the next 6 months, which I am sure will fly by even quicker than the first. Sometimes I cannot believe how quick one single day flies by! We are movin and shakin towards his 1st birthday!

I am tired. Jackson is 16 weeks old today. He still doesn’t regularly sleep through the night. He is exclusively breastfed. I am aware that for breastfed babies sleeping through the night means 5 hours. He does not even do that regularly. Sure, he will throw me a bone from time to time. He has even lumped several of those bones into a week at one point. Boy was I misled! I started feeling confident my big boy was growing up and hitting that holy grail milestone of parenthood, sleeping through the night officially. I went on and on to people. “Oh he has been sleeping through the night FOR A WEEK! I think we are officially in sleep town! blah blah blah”

I went out one evening to a church event. Jason, the hubbs, had to do the bedtime routine. Including giving him a bottle (of pumped breastmilk). He went through the whole thing I do. The mobile gets turned on, singing to some songs, a lavender lotion massage, a bedtime story, fed him the bottle, etc. Well, that night he woke up after a couple hours only. And from there it has been pretty regular. Except for another 3 or 4 day spread of going from about 10-4/4:30. Mostly he is up every 2-3 hours at night again.

I am not a tough love parent. I hate hate hate that method. It hurts my heart and his heart to let him cry it out. I just think it is awful. I feel as if I am losing his trust because he is in that dark room all alone, scared, or whatever his need is. I firmly believe you cannot spoil a child with too much love. My husband would have it another way if he could. He is a tough love parent. But, being the control freak that I am, there is no way that I allow that to happen. I promptly freak out if I find out that he let Jackson cry for too long.

But part of me wonders, does he just do it because he wants me to be by him? He sleeps in his own room. As soon as I enter his cries stop. He knows. He knows I am his monkey, as Jason calls me. Monkey Mommy. So Monkey Mommy does what he wants. And usually every few weeks in the middle of an exhausting night, I have a small breakdown. I swear I can’t do this. That I am exhausted. I need more help from Jason. Etc. Last night was one of those nights. I always feel incredibly guilty for having these feelings. That I just want a break. I don’t want to be a mom at that moment. I want to be lost in sleepville, dreaming away about something ridiculous, under my warm sheet and blanket in my soft bed. And when I “wake up” for the day, after countless attempts at getting him to stay asleep, I feel just guilty. That I am awful. I know I am not, really. I am having a normal human response to lack of sleep. To being a new momma. It is the most difficult job I have ever had.

But a part of me just feels terrible for feeling so put out. What can you do? I have heard about how guilty moms are always feeling. I never understood it until now. Working mom, SAHM, I think it makes no difference. I think that either way every day you are going to be dripping in some sort of guilt. Always doubting how great of a mom you are, judging yourself. Thinking, “well, his diaper was REALLY soaked this time. Will this lead to some bathroom issues 25 years down the road.” Or “Tummy time wasnt a total of 30 minutes today, will he be developmentally behind forever now?!???!?!?” You can insert some ridiculous thought into either of these quotes. These thoughts tend to be off the wall and absolutely ridiculous. They are unfounded and it is just a mom doubting herself because she is responsible for a human being.

I try to not compare what he does to what other babies are doing. I really do. He is his own person and he will do things on his own time. He is 16 weeks and already is scooting. There is a tooth coming in. I can see and feel it. He has been socially smiling in response to us and funny faces since he was 2 months old. He has been regularly rolling from tummy to back since he was about 2 1/2-3 months. He almost has back to front rolling mastered. He can roll himself all over the floor by wiggling from back to side, but just doesn’t quite get all the way over yet. He does a lot of things ahead of his time. I only know this because of the emails I get from all these parenting sites explaining what baby should be doing. When I read the for the current time I often realize he has been doing that thing for a while prior to “this week/month.”But at the time it just seemed that it was a normal milestone he was hitting. He should smile, he should laugh, he should roll over etc. All babies do this at some point or another.

That is him, that is his personality, that is how he is as an individual. I need to remember that not sleeping at least 5 hours a night also falls under that category. That is just Jack. But part of me feels a twinge of jealousy every time I hear about how some younger or even old baby is or has been sleeping through the night. WHY CANT HE DO THAT SO THAT I GET SOME SLEEP? That is what I think. I quickly try to scold myself. If I don’t want to compare him to other babies when it comes to all of the things I consider positive, then I have to apply that to this area. I cannot place these things into different categories. I have to remain consistent if this is my parenting method.

He is a great baby. He is rarely fussy and doesn’t scream often. Almost to the point that when he DOES start crying and I cannot quickly fix it, I start to panic. I don’t know how to handle it. That is how often he is in a bubbly happy mood. So overall I have little to complain about. I am blessed. He came out of me with wide eyes, smirked at his dad, flashing his priceless dimples, and then realized what had just happened and the crying began. THAT is how happy of a baby he is.

But I am tired and so this is MY hissy fit! I WANT TO SLEEP.  And now I will be good for a couple more weeks until my next 3 am meltdown when I am finally overly exhausted.

After all, how can you be upset when every day you wake up to this baby???

Big boy smiles