Archives for posts with tag: relaxation

I have started and failed to finish several posts this week. It has been difficult for me to get into a good writing flow. They were all very long posts but they just didn’t seem right to me. They all were incomplete as well. I have had a lot on my mind but the words just won’t form correctly. Today, though, I am going to try a bit harder.

Yesterday evening I was thinking to myself that I would really enjoy it if I had a rainy day tomorrow. A day to just slow me down a little bit. A reason to stay inside, cuddled up with my sweetheart. A day where I could use the bad weather as an excuse to not run errands, go somewhere fun, walk to the park, or whatever ever else came up. 

For over a week I haven’t slept through the night. Last night was no exception. As I lay in bed I considered a walk to the park with Jackson today. No workout, take a rest day because I haven’t taken a rest day in over a week either. But a nice 1.5 mile walk and maybe some swimming. My brain was active as I lay in bed considering all the things I could do today. I finally decided to get myself up for the day, having stayed in bed a bit later knowing I didn’t plan on fitting in a workout. Alexander started slowing moving around, then kicking. It was time to start my day. 

Imagine my surprise as I waddled into my kitchen, not greeted by the usual beaming sunlight that radiates through the massive set of windows we have. I was greeted by grey sky, rain, clouds, and utter wetness outside. My heart skipped a beat. My rainy day! I hadn’t even checked the weather forecast yesterday. I had no idea rain was coming. I just wished it would, to force me to slow down a touch. As I sit here and write I am accompanied by the sounds of rain falling on my skylights. Heavy raindrops writing their own song. Jackson is still asleep. He likes to sleep late on rainy mornings. There is no sun radiating around the small space around his blackout blinds. 

I am not sure what we will do today. My dishes could be washed. I was too tired last night to wash the ones from dinner. Legos are already spread across my kitchen table. Except for the small area I am afforded for my meals and well my laptop I am typing on now. We have a ton of books we could read. I have a new big Ninja Turtles coloring/activity book we could make our marks on. Maybe we will do all of them. If he keeps sleeping much longer, there won’t be a nap today. Especially on a day where we don’t wear ourselves out playing outside or going on an adventure. 

As I sipped my coffee earlier, watching the rainy day, I couldn’t help but thank my Gma (that is what I called her a lot). I can’t help but feel like she may have had a hand in providing me with exactly what I needed this week. Forcing me to slow down a little, her girl who is always on the go. Thanks Gma, you did me a solid. 


View from my kitchen

I was working on another post throughout today but I am saving it for later. I am not done with it and I seriously think this one is more important.

I just caught myself stress eating! WTH! I have NEVER been a stress eater. I was the exact opposite. I used to lose my appetite when I was super stressed.

Jackson is taking his first nap since 9am! He only napped for 40 minutes then. He has been battling me all day. I finally gave in and put him in the swing. I just couldn’t take it anymore. Against my better judgement I am probably backtracking all the work I have done getting him to nap in his room. Although today was more like day 1 not nearly two weeks! Wednesday is two weeks since I started trying this….ugh

Anyway. I found myself eating to relax myself after I put him in his swing and he quieted down. I am blogging about this embarrassing fact because I want to nip it in the bud right this second. Unacceptable. First, I will never lose these last few pounds if I continue this atrocious behavior. Second, I will likely GAIN back all the weight I lost. All of my hard work and dedication would be for naught! I will say at least my choices were not too bad. I had one small frozen dark chocolate covered banana. The tiny diana’s bananas one. And some Pirate’s Booty, aged white cheddar rice puffs. So it is not like I scarfed down something from Man vs Food or anything. But still that is incredibly unhealthy behavior. I need to replace that with some relaxing yoga poses or a light workout or something. I already did a 30 minute pilates workout this morning. I am considering doing another short workout right now. Jackson is napping in his swing…..I mean I am supposed to cook dinner and eat in an hour, but I just stuffed my face! How ridiculous.

So here is me being accountable. I absolutely cannot fall into this trap. I am baffled as to why it is happening. I am guessing it is hormonal. And perhaps because I am breastfeeding. So losing my appetite is sort of physically out of the question, since I need food to fuel my body to produce milk for the baby. Whatever the HECK this is I want to it go away. What a dangerous road. I never understood this concept until now. I certainly hope that along with all the other hormonal ridiculousness that comes with breastfeeding, that this goes away.

I have seriously never been more disgusted with myself. WHO AM I???? Eating to feel better. Gosh…..I think I need to go workout to make myself feel better! UGH Shame on you Nicole! SHAME!