3 Months

I am officially over 3 months pregnant. The start of my second trimester is just a handful of days away. I still feel that this pregnancy is so very different than my pregnancy with Jack. I hear that is common if not almost entirely expected. My emotions about it are far different as well. I forget about being pregnant more often this time. I am assuming it is because I have a 3 year old to keep me entirely occupied this time around. I had nothing to keep me quite so occupied last time.

I am still not sure how I will love another human being as much as I love Jack. I got a surge of that emotion as we were just walking through our hallway. We were chatting. I ruffled his hair and said “You know what? I love you so so so much!” I do. I really do. And as the words left my mouth, I thought in my head, “How could I possibly love any other child as much????” I am told that I will. That it will be just as easy to fall in love with this one as it was with Jack. I hope so.

3 months

I guess part of the thing is, this still doesn’t feel real to me. I understand in my brain this is happening but I can’t grasp that this is my new reality. Maybe it is because I haven’t felt the flutters or any kicks yet? Maybe it goes back to being so distracted with the current human that entirely fills my heart? I am certain I accepted the reality as soon as the stick said positive with Jack. Again, I had no distractions then.

We should be finding out the sex of the baby in the next week. We took the panorama test last week. Along with some genetic tests, it includes the sex of the baby. I am hoping that will help to solidify the actuality of this. We will have a he or she growing. A name.

I have also started to feel a touch better. So that is really exciting. My energy levels are way up! Much to Jack’s happiness. I haven’t heard him ask me to “not be cranky anymore mommy” in a week or two. The first trimester was very rough on me. Much rougher than Jack’s 1st trimester! My whole pregnancy was a breeze with him. This one, again, is much different.

My guess for the sex? A girl. It isn’t because I am dying to have a girl. As a matter of fact I have always wanted a second boy. I have said that since shortly after Jack was born. But, I had a gut feeling with Jack that he was a boy. I have a gut feeling that despite the fact I have always wanted two boys, this one is a girl. My husband also is thinking girl. He also doesn’t have a strong preference either way. So we shall see soon.

Jack is still beyond excited! He talks about his little brother or sister every day. He asks a million questions. He tells us about what his plans are with the baby. That really makes my heart grow. Those are the brief moments where I feel this might actually be happening. When I watch his face light up with excitement over having a sibling to love, play, and yes, fight with. (Not that he knows that will happen just yet, but let’s be honest, it will) His guess? It literally changes every time he is asked! The other week he said “boy” And when asked what the boy would be named he said “Jackson” Ha! Yesterday he said “girl” and her name would be “alex” Alex is our boy name. He is too cute. He is listening to what we are talking about though. The specifics just get a little jumbled. My sweet boy!