I have been meaning to write. Things kind of got away from me. We were so busy this weekend. Not in a bad way. We had a lot of fun things going on. I had class Saturday. The boys went to a birthday party while I was there. I met up with them when my class ended. It was my cousin’s birthday. Sunday we went to Disney on Ice. That was a blast too!

I won him an angry bird in the claw game. I am a claw game champ, seriously!

Disney on Ice. Jason got us very first row seats. I had no idea, it was a surprise!

cool new toy. He has been playing with this all week

He clearly had a blast!

Monday was swim with the kid and he started getting a little cranky. It was a long day. Then Jason left right after he got home for a couple hours. It was a long evening.

Jack decided to stay up until 2:30AM Monday night. I was up until 3. I tried everything and finally had to let him settle down on his own around 2:30. I couldn’t do anything else. Yesterday he woke up with an awful cold. Poor guy. So yesterday I was up to my elbows in sick kid. Once I knew that he had a cold, taking care of him was easier. Lots of nose sucker thingie (I know it is a nasal aspirator but I prefer the name I came up with when speaking with his pediatrician once. He laughed when I said it. I was tired and the word slipped my mind for the moment, I had a sick baby. It has stuck ever since) sessions. Lots of saline mist squirts. Vapo rub when sleeping, nap and bedtime. As well as advil every 6 hours. He slept all night. Although he is miserable. He is different when he is sick now.  I am having a hard time dealing with it. I am prepared for lots of snuggles and cuddles when he is sick. Lots of face, head, hand rubbing. Tender care. I was all gung-ho to have an all day/evening session of that.

When he woke up from his nap yesterday he was downright abusive towards me. Hysterical tantrums. Hitting, kicking, throwing things at me. All I was trying to do was comfort him, ask him what he wanted. Was he thirsty? Did he want to watch a show? Was he hungry? Did he want momma to hold him? Did he want his blankie? Did he want to wear a Cars thsirt? He woke up with his shirt soaked from snot and drool. He needed to be changed. He usually loves being asked if he wants to wear one of his many Cars tshirt. When I changed his shirt he tried ripping it off in a fit of anger. Did he want to sit on his Mickey Mouse couch? Did he want to sit with Momma on the big couch?

The responses I received were nasty and I was heartbroken. I wasn’t even trying to suck boogers out of his nose. He would scream at me so hard and loud that he would begin to gag and nearly vomit. He has never done that to me before. All I wanted to do was lovingly take care of him. I was so upset. I didn’t yell at him or give him a time out because I knew he felt awful and was probably confused and frustrated.

I hate to complain about him. I try not to. Especially on facebook. I avoided doing anything like that. I called my husband and then my mom when this was happening. While I was talking to my mom I moved from the floor with him to the couch. He started to change his disposition while I was chatting with her. She was reassuring me that everyone is different. Maybe when he is sick he is like his Dad and not me. Jason is essentially grumpy when he wakes up every single day and he just chooses to wallow in bed when sick. I have always liked to be babied when sick. I am an expert at treating someone who wants to be babied, because I know what is good first hand! My mom always babied me. Lots of snuggles, rubbing, and catering.

He came up and started leaning on me and putting his head on my lap. It was progress. I turned on Cars 2. That helped. Then I indulged his requests to eat Kashi cereal bars. TWO of them. Sigh, he is sick, and I wanted to cater to what he wanted as much as I could.

I am still upset about yesterday. He was so so nasty. I was in shock. He started to do it right before bedtime again. This time for Jason. Jason got to partially see what I went through. It wasn’t as bad though. Both times were about 20 minutes before he could have his next dose of advil. I am guessing it wore off both times and he felt like shit. I am hoping today is better. I was really frustrated by the time Jason got home. I kept it together and my niceness and patience until then. I was cutting up sweet potatoes for my sweet potato fries and Jason put a butcher knife in the wrong spot. That wasn’t a big deal, I found it. But he put it in the side of the silverware drawer with the huge sharp blade FACING UP! FACING UP. Jack regularly opens the drawers and just sticks his hands in there digging around. I was LIVID. First that knife goes in the knife block on the counter, second, any large knives go in the very back of that drawer, behind the silver wear organizer, so he can’t get to them. He could have seriously injured himself had he opened that drawer yesterday.

So that set my crabbiness off. I had no more patience to deal with the whining, meanness, or demands. So I was cranky with Jack. I didn’t want to sit on the floor anymore. I told him no a lot. I feel bad but at the same time, I can only take so much  each day. His hysterical tantrums were honestly THAT bad. Off the wall ridiculous. I was in shock for a bit when they started. My mom is supposed to come by today. We had plans to go to the Children’s Museum but I am keeping him home, even if he does feel better. I don’t want to push it or get other kids sick.

Sick Jack yesterday. This was after nap time, after his insane tantrum, and after he started kind of being nice to me.

So that is where I am this week and it is only Wednesday. Tonight I am going to a Reformer class for the first time. Tomorrow I have class. At least I can get out of the house for a bit each night. As long as I don’t get sick. I avoided my usual numerous amount of kisses yesterday. I usually kiss him all day long, but I worked hard to not do it. Especially on the lips. Here’s to hoping I don’t get sick!

I actually wasn’t exhausted yesterday. I drank a lot of green tea. Today I will likely do the same. Oh who am I kidding I drink lots of green tea every day! HA! And I am going to work on accepting the fact that maybe Jack isn’t a cuddler when sick. I really feel like I am losing something. He used to be. I am really sad about this. I don’t know how to help a child that refuses to be touched or helped when not feeling well. By nature I am a nurturing person. This is going to take some learning on my part.