Jack will be 2 at the beginning of February. I still can’t believe that this is happening. That it has been 2 years since I was big and preggo! That is crazy. But it is awesome and I love everything about him. I woke up this morning thinking about one of the silly things he does. I literally way laying in bed smiling about it. I love him so much it is ridiculous.

I love this photo of him! An hour or two old!

Since I was leaving the hospital me having a 2nd has been mentioned. I will not forget that. I was getting into the car and the wonderful nurse who got me through the rough part of my labor, when Jack’s heart rate dropped, said to me, “we will see you back in a year or two for number 2!” I remember thinking WTH WHAT? ANOTHER? This child hasn’t slept in 2 nights, are you kidding me?

It continued from there, constantly. For a while it was weekly. It wasn’t just people I know either. Strangers at the store would be chatting with me. I would get into arguments with perfect strangers who insisted I must have a 2nd. Once a cashier wouldn’t shut up about it. She kept asking personal questions. Why didn’t I like being pregnant? Was it a rough pregnancy? Etc! I finally snapped at her “I didn’t like being FAT!” I was trying to check out, Jack was in the stroller demanding attention, and she was rambling about me having another and asking inappropriate questions.

It made me mad a lot. Especially when people would say “BUT HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO HIM?” As if not having another human being was child abuse. That really pushed my buttons. To me, having a child isn’t something you do on a whim. Just because you’re bored or your child is bored. I know there are surprises and that is fine but you don’t set out to have one because of boredom. That isn’t right to me. I would never.

Or they would say “but you’re such a good mom. You’re so involved with him. It just seems natural that you would have more than one.” Thank you for the compliment. I appreciate that. I really do. I devote my life to him and raising him. But it doesn’t mean it is natural for me to have a 2nd. Not at all. Maybe I am such a great mom because I only have one child to focus my energies on. That constant one on one time allows me to give him my absolute best.

I do not want another. Likely ever. Truth? I don’t want to be pregnant again. I hated getting fat. I like being toned and in shape. Also, Jack did not sleep for most of the 1st year. I was tired. I don’t want to do that again with a toddler. With Jack I had the freedom to nap when I wanted if he was sleeping. I won’t have that freedom again.

When I SEE people with a newborn I think “man they must be so tired, that sucks” Don’t get me wrong, I also think the baby is precious and wonderful. I would love to hold the baby if they let me, but I really like giving the baby back. I like going home with my toddler that can talk and communicate. My toddler that sleeps until 10-12 every day. YES 10am-12pm, he never gets out of bed before 10am! His choice. He still takes a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon too. I LOVE that. I do not feel that twinge of jealously that I want a newborn too. It doesn’t exist. When I was eager to get pregnant with Jack and it was taking forever, I would always feel a little sad or jealous when I held or saw someone’s baby. I wanted that so badly! I haven’t experienced that all all since having that baby I wanted.

Another thing I have noticed is that moms with more than one always seem frazzled and stressed. I see that posted a lot on Facebook or I see it at the park. I have a certain way I want to be as a mom. I have worked that out well with Jack. I have frazzled moments, sure.  I don’t post about them a lot. I talk to my closest three people, hubby, mom, bff. I just don’t want to have a majority of those moments. To me, it seems like the more kids, the more frequent the stress is.

The questions lulled for a little while. But as he nears 2 I have noticed they have picked up a bit. It doesn’t annoy me like before. I actually have been making jokes about it when people ask me. I turn it into this big thing how Jason would like another and he tries each month to knock me up. When I am victorious and I am not preggo I make a big deal about announcing it to him. People usually laugh at that. Truth be told, he isn’t really trying to knock me up. He knows how I feel about it and he respects me. I won’ t go into graphic details but I do not take female birth control pills or any hormonal devices. I don’t believe in doing that to my body. It seems unnatural to me. I tried once and it wasn’t for me. Everyone is different and I am not knocking it. I just don’t like it. There are too many risks and side effects for my liking. We are not that careful but we are also not very fertile people. If I were to get preggo it wouldn’t be on purpose but we are pretty sure it isn’t happening anytime soon. We have been managing this way for over half a decade! With only one pregnancy that we worked a long time at, 8 months! With intentionally trying many times each month! Like I said, it isn’t happening, he isn’t trying that hard, but the joke seems to change the subject a little.

It has gotten easier for me to shrug it off. I have come to terms with it. People feel strongly about children numbers. I am not sure why. I have never felt that way about other people’s families. I have never told someone to have another. It is not my business. If you have met Jackson you will notice a few things:

  • He is a very happy child! He laughs a lot and is very silly!
  • He shares better than most children I know. When we are out he is never the child snatching things out of kids hands. He is the kid who is playing and has someone snatch something from him, then looks at them and me like “why would he do that, we don’t do that we share” If you follow me you may have read the post about me making a boy cry who wouldn’t share with Jack. When I told the boy to share, Jack repeated the word and said “share?”
  • If you come to our home, he is happy to share his toys with you. Even with other children. We had some friends over with twins  and the 3 boys tore the living room apart playing together and sharing perfectly.
  • He communicates fabulously. He talks all day long and his list of words is phenomenal. He says 2-word phrases now as well. He makes animal sounds. He knows one of our cats’ names. Lili but he also knows she is a cat.
  • He is so loving. He will hug you and squeeze tight saying “squeeze!”
  • He gives kisses and hugs and loves to cuddle.
  • He is outgoing. If you meet him and he has his cars he will instantly offer you his cars to look at. He will show you his light up car shoes. He is very social and friendly.
  • He is well behaved. I have brought him to my pilates teacher training for a bit once. For a little while. Jason was running late. He sat there like an angel. I also brought him to a study group this week and he did the same. He played happily. He only got cranky once he got tired and it was naptime. As a matter of fact, the owner of my studio says he is welcomed any time because he is just so well behaved.
  • He works an iPad better than you do. No joke. He isn’t 2 and he is so bright.
  • If he wants something and asks for it, say milk. And you say to him “what do you say?” He will immediately respond with “please”
  • If he is trying to go down a slide, in a tunnel, or other playground equipment and there are other babies/toddlers clambering around he waits his turn. He doesn’t push them, he doesn’t push past them, he waits until they are done or out of his way.

He is not this weird only child that has no social skills and can’t share. He is the exact opposite of any only child stigma you can think up. He is bright, friendly, kind, loving, chatty, etc. I work very hard to make sure he is well mannered and kind. So don’t tell me that I have to have more than one so that he isn’t weird or bad at sharing. You know how to have a kid that shares? YOU TEACH THEM! TEACH THEM YOURSELF. Since he was an infant I have been working on him being a good sharer. He would get reprimanded at our Gymboree classes if he snatched something from another baby. I would explain we share. I have been doing that since he was old enough to snatch something. It has nothing to do with having more than one kid. It has to do with how you parent your child(ren). I will get off my tangent. But it is true. All of those things above are because I, and Jason when he is home, work hard to make sure he behaves a certain way.

I love our balance and our routine of sorts. I don’t want something else thrown in there. I love how our family is. I feel happy, content, and complete. But I also know that people are not going to stop telling me to have more. I am happy that I have accepted this and that I am ok with it. I am just going to do what I want to do anyway. I know my child is a good kid. He is well adjusted and happy. He is a better sharer than many children that are older than him with siblings. So I may be smiling and cracking jokes when someone is pushing that in my face but in my head I am thinking, “and my one kid is kinder than your 34324324 kids. Thanks for the input!” 😉 If people can be pushy about their opinions I can think whatever I want in my head! HA!

But truly I am happy and content. I love our life. I love our family. I wouldn’t change a thing!

Our happy, little, sharing, loving, funny, silly, PERFECT family!